Moonspell – Extinct: A Video Breakdown

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Gotico vampiro lobisomem metal.

Portugal’s finest vampire-werewolf gothic metallers are back, baby! Relatively quiet in the past few years, Moonspell have reared their pale heads once again to bring us songs about things that go bump in the night. Sexy things. Things that require safety words. Things clad in leather and too much eye makeup. Arm yourself with some silver bullets and a tetanus shot because Moonspell have released a new video for their song “Extinct”. Let’s check it out.

0:13: Good thing this isn’t a “scratch n’ sniff” video. It would stink like corndogs and seagull shit.

0:19: Jack Sparrow is my co-pilot.

0:34: The churro lady is here!

0:40: Oh, it’s just Jack Sparrow’s wife, Jacqueline.

0:52: Man, she is walking the hell out of that hallway.

0:57: Hi!

0:58: Hey!

0:59: Sup!

1:00: Ola!

1:02: Como estas?

1:03: Hell-oh holy crap she can float!

1:06: So are all of these people in the band or have we just walked in on a real-life steampunk fan-fiction story.

1:16: A little bit of paint, some throw pillows and this warehouse video is as good as new.

1:19: Why are you guys so far away? Don’t be shy.

1:23: I didn’t know ghetto Marilyn Manson was in the band.

1:30: That much makeup near an open flame cannot be a good idea.

1:37: Joao, it’s time for you 3:30 masochisting!

1:48: She’s like a sexy Corporal Kirchener.

1:52: “You have a little mayo on your lip. Let me get that for you.”
2:09: Every member of Moonspell is a “winter”.

2:16: The first day of school is always awkward.

2:23: At least there’s still cute puppies in the post-apocalyptic wastelands.

2:29: Those wings are still safer than flying on Southwest.

2:43: Four! Four heaving bosoms! Ah-ah-ah!

2:51: It’s like a Mad Max porno parody in here.

3:03: Oh, now it’s awkward.

3:09: An entire field of cows died to make Moonspell’s outfits.

3:16: Dollar store Maleficent is here!

3:30: Emotionless Keyboardist: The Movie

3:40: Next he’s going to write “Metallica Rulez” on the wall.

3:59: Man, I should start going to yoga classes.

4:03: Somehow, breakdancing is the most unexpected thing in this video.

4:18: Check that: One-armed headspinning is the most unexpected thing in this video.

4:22: Breakin’: The New Generation

4:25: Goth pile-ons are like regular pile-ons except with more ennui.

4:34: I guess Moonspell is just too cool for goth pile-ons.

4:44: Yaaaarrrrrr!

4:51: Naaawww everything is better with puppies.

4:53: Nets! My only weakness!

4:59: Peace out, Moonspell.

I have to say that was a pretty catchy song. I guess the video is catchy too if you include STDs and staph infections. It did lack lots the vampires, werewolves, and capes I would expect from a Moonspell video. At least they didn’t go the ultra computer-generated route like they did in “Scorpion Flower”.

Moonspell’s new album “Extinct” is out now on Napalm Records.

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