NAILS – GQ Approved Grind

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“I wasn’t born to follow or model anybody’s Spring collection.

In the past, I had no desire to read GQ because I’m not some kinda body-waxing shitdick that leases an Audi or takes out loans for bottle service at the club. In between reviewing multi-thousand dollar watches (“it’s actually a timepiece” *BLAM*) and modelling designer clothing porn for the wannabe-Patrick Batemans of the world, the magazine has been giving insecure men a renewed sense of masculinity via conspicuous consumption since 1957. Now it appears that Gentlemen’s Quarterly (a monthly publication) is pursuing an affluent new demographic: fans of brutal SoCal grindcore. Where do I subscribe??

A few days ago, GQ.com published a listicle of “Fifteen Future-Vintage Band T-Shirts Cool Enough to Wear Right Now“. Included was a $50 Drake tee, some terrible all-over print of a band I’ve never heard of, and this sweet NAILS shirt:

nailsgq

So that’s a thing. I’m certainly not trying to say that you have to be super tr00 to dig harsh jams (look at me, I’m some dingus who spends 50 hours a week in a cubicle and drives home in a compact SUV), and I certainly hope that NAILS can flip a few shirts and pick up a few new fans from mainstream exposure but DANG if this isn’t an unlikely pairing. I look forward to the upcoming Cat Fancy article, “Bands You and Your Cat Will Love” featuring Swallowing Bile.

I’m heading out of town so it’s an open swim in this bitch.

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