Prematurely Eradicated: The Best Metal TV Show That Ended Too Soon
Heavy metal and television is a combination that rarely strikes gold. More often than not it is merely a song featured on a show to relatively cringe-y results. Sometimes it’s a publicity stunt. Almost every time, though, it is a device to show how scary or deranged or misunderstood some teenage murderer is. Indeed, it is rare that metal fans get to play the role of hero. There is at least one exception though. He is our saving grace. He hails from Canada. His name is Todd. Let’s talk about Todd and The Book of Pure Evil.
Todd is the stereotypical heavy metal high school reject (FLASHBACKS) attending the one and only Crowley High School. Much to your utter lack of surprise, Crowley High was founded by none other than…Satanists. Of course they aren’t just any lame ass dude-bro Satanists like you meet in your day to day life. No, these fellows possessed an unholy tome known only as The Book of Pure Evil. As the more perceptive of you may have guessed, Todd eventually encounters this book (5 points for you!) and attempts to use its devil powers to impress the woman he has a crush on. Who hasn’t been there? Once Todd performs a most metal ceremony he heads to the High School battle of the bands where he proceeds to play guitar so hard he makes a guy bleed out of his asshole.
Before the anal seepage has even dried Todd realizes that the book is…uh, evil, and must be destroyed. Of course this being the pilot episode the book escapes so we can have many more weeks of shenanigans. TatBoPE plays out like a much more vulgar Buffy the Vampire Slayer as written by metal heads. Every episode a new student finds the book and wishes for their life to be better or for the lives of other students to be worse in some way, always to absurd results.
Now what makes this show metal, you ask? Well, aside from the fact that I said a man pours blood from his asshole after a rippin’ guitar solo, there is also the soundtrack, and every metal dude and dudettes favorite, the band shirts. Each episode features a few songs that range from Needled 24/7 by Children of Bodom to Wires by Red Fang, hell there’s even some Doomriders and Mouth of the Architect. If it isn’t there in musical form, then it is there in black t-shirt spirit as Todd reps High on Fire, Dying Fetus, and Skinless. A Megadeth shirt on your dad’s favorite CBS comedy this is not. You’ll also notice some solid caricatures of every-metal-dude-you’ve-ever-seen-ever, my favorite being the group of prophetic thrash loving hesher dudes that always hang out by their Trans Am.
Now here is where I bear bad news: TatBoPE (there has to be a better abbreviation) only made it 2 seasons. Metal isn’t just a niche music market, apparently. The good news is that this past year the creators successfully crowdfunded an animated feature length film that will wrap up Todd’s story. Why animated? Well, because frankly it is cheaper and will allow for extra insanity that would be difficult to pull off in a low budget real world setting. There’s no solid release date just yet, but it will be coming sometime in 2015. In the meantime, stop reading this and go get it! The DVDs can be had for cheap via Amazon or you can purchase it digitally through the retailer of your choice.