This Toilet Tuesday (4/21/15)

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It’s been three weeks since the constipation started, and there’s no end in sight.

You’ve tried almost everything to make it go away: drinking lots of water, eating more fiber, even laxatives, but nothing seems to have helped. The poo will not pass. In one desperate last-ditch attempt to force a movement, the tools for your plan sit on a plate before you; three of the cheapest, foulest gas station burritos you have ever laid eyes upon. You tear into them with reckless abandon, emptying an entire bottle of Cholula sauce onto the insalubrious trio. The effects take place almost immediately; a bubble of gas forms rapidly in your abdomen. You rush to the toilet, hopeful that your plan will succeed. The gas continues to build up, but you don’t feel the blockage shifting at all. You close your eyes and take a couple short breaths as the pain intensifies. Looking down, you see your abdomen has visibly swollen and is rapidly expanding; the gas must be blocked in completely. The pain has become unbearable to the point of being unable to think properly. You try to hatch a plan to stop this, but it’s too late. With a horrendous tearing sound, your stomach wall bursts open and coats the opposite wall in a Creosotean spray of mulched intestine and undigested burrito. The tattered remains of your spinal column give out and what’s left of your torso collapses forth into the viscera. With your final ragged breath, you only wish you had chosen a better last meal.

Don’t settle for mediocrity on this glorious Toilet Tuesday.


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Cranial Implosion – Lost on Dead Dominions (Rotten Cemetery) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Monster With No Remorse”

I realized not too long ago that it had been awhile since I had gotten down and dirty with some straight up death metal. I could only think of a couple death metal albums I had gotten into recently that weren’t a hybrid form of the genre, but here comes Cranial Implosion to the rescue! There’s only one track off the forthcoming album up at the moment, but it absolutely punishes. With a barrage of blast beats and intricate, relentless riffing, these guys demonstrate a knack for keeping things interesting within the tried and true framework of death metal. I’m looking forward to hearing this whole album. (Stockhausen)


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Oblivionized – Life Is A Struggle, Give Up (Secret Law Records) [Grindskronk]
Listen to “Life Is A Struggle, Give Up”

As soon as I clicked play on “Life Is A Struggle, Give Up,” I thought to myself Oh, it’s that kind of party, and then punched my mailman. This is the sort of unhinged party where anything goes. Oblivionized live up to their name with a mess of wild, grindy chaos inspired by equal parts hardcore and death metal. An easy, initial comparison would be the frenetic energy of The Dillinger Escape Plan, but a lot nastier and way meaner. This record is going to be exhausting, but well worth it. (Stockhausen)


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Acrania – Fearless (Independent) [Death Samba]
Listen to “People of the Blaze”

Our fearless leader Spear described Acrania as death samba, and that’s about as good a descriptor as you’re going to get for this unique death metal band. On People of the Blaze, Acrania have taken a traditional death metal tortilla and stuffed it full of spicy horns, sizzling tabla rhythms, and hearty Latin guitar work to create quite the appetizing burrito. This is zesty stuff sure to appeal to those looking for something beyond the norm. FFO: Vita Imana, Xipe Totec, Ankla (W.)


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Ereb Altor – Nattramn (Cyclone Empire) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Nattramn”

A few weeks ago, Masterpyjamas mentioned that there was at least one fan of Ereb Altor on the blog. As fate would have it, I am that man. Ereb Altor aren’t doing anything particularly novel for the black metal world with Nattramn, but the stampeding riffs and dynamic atmosphere are sure to appeal to other fans of the subgenre. FFO: Bathory, Falkenbach, Moonsorrow (W.)


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Drudkh – A Furrow Cut Short (Season of Mist) [Black Metal]
Stream

Yay! The Hyrkanian (or Ukrainian, whatevs) black metallers with folk-tinge are back! Heavy, epic, majestic you could keep on piling these words. If you’ve ever listened to Drudkh you know what you’re getting. Sawing riffs, angry vocals and pounding drums joined by melodic leadwork with a folk-sensibility. Only that this time around much of the melodies are buried beneath the riffs. Many of these songs feel very similar; so similar in fact that it turns to a negative. The songs blend and blur together with only few standout moments. When the album doesn’t start very strong or memorable and some of the longest songs take seven minutes before distinguishing themselves from the others, only to end two short minutes later it can spell boredom for all but the most devoted fans. It’s not that the songs are completely indistinguishable, but there’s just one feeling throughout these songs, one face, the could be of the same composition. This is not to say I wouldn’t enjoy the album, “Embers” and “Till Foreign Grounds…” are some of Drudkh’s better songs but the album doesn’t quite stand tall enough. (Beargod)


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Lustre – Blossom (Nordvis) [Atmospheric Black Metal]
Listen to “Part 3”

I’ve always like Lustre’s take on ambient black metal, which is to play tingly synth sounds over some vague distorted guitars and rhythms and throw in some more atmospheric moments for a measure. It’s always been perfect music-to-get-absolutely-shitfaced-and-go-wandering-in-the-forest-in-the-middle-of-the-night. Blossom doesn’t really seek to change anything,  so if you didn’t like it before go get yourself a big mug satanjuice or whatever it is they drink over there at the nofeelsland. (Beargod)


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Mardelas – Mardelas I (King Records) [Power Thrash]
Listen to “Eclipse”

It seems there is a lot of kickass thrash/power/melodic metal coming out of Japan lately (DestroseBridearMary’s Blood, and Jupiter to name a few), and I’m totally okay with that. Mardelas are the latest, featuring tons of aggressive riffage, bombastic shreds, and a singer with an incredibly intense vibrato. Eclipse is fun, catchy, and fast; if the rest of the album is good, it’ll totally be worth the import price. (Spear)


4Arm – Survivalist (Independent) [Thrash]
Listen to “Fragment of a Dream,” “Poisoned Mind”

Abiotic – Casuistry (Metal Blade) [Tech Death]
Listen to “Cast into the Depths”

Ages – The Malefic Miasma (Black Lodge Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “The Malefic Miasma”

Alastor Sanguinary Embryo – For Satan and the Ruin of the Divine (Satanath Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Summoning the Beast of Stigmata”

Apothecary – Drifting Towards the Ancients (Independent) [Death/Doom]
Listen to “Fortune Doesn’t Smile on the Damned”

Artizan – The Furthest Reaches (Pure Steel Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Supernova”

Austerymn – Sepulcrum Viventium (Memento Mori) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Feeding the Grotesque”

Black Magik – Providence (Malicious) [Thrash]
Listen to “The Watchers”

Black Soul Horde/Dexter Ward – Black Soul Horde/Dexter Ward (split- No Remorse) [Heavy/Speed Metal]
Listen to “Protector of the Dead” (BSH)“Rendezvous With Destiny” (DW)

Celtachorn – Nuada of the Silver Arm (TrollZorn) [Black Metal]
Listen to “King Eochaid’s Fall”

Dark Quarter – Ithaca (Metal On Metal) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Escape,” “Last Fight”

David Shankle Group – Still A Warrior (Pure Steel Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Still A Warrior”

Deathblow – The Other Side of Darkness (Independent) [Thrash]
Listen to “The Other Side of Darkness”

Deez Nuts – Word is Bond (Century Media) [lolnuttz]
Listen to “What’s Good?” (Review)

Demonical – Black Flesh Redemption (Agonia Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Cursed Liberation”

Demonic Death Judge/Coughdust – Demonic Death Judge/Coughdust (split- Inverse records) [Sludge]
Listen to “Polar Beard” (DDJ)

Disrupted – Morbid Death (Memento Mori) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Buried in Bowels”

Dys Inbunden – One With Morbidity, the Opus Misanthropy (Liflatinn Productions) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Draconigena”

Entropy O.A.C. – Dark Clouds and Clarity (Independent) [Metalcore]
Listen to “Realm of Grey”

Forefather – Curse of the Cwelled (Seven Kingdoms) [Folk Metal]
Listen to “When Our England Died”

Grethor – Cloaked in Decay (Independent) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Somnia Malum Infinitum,” “Hemispheres Decaying”

Gruesome – Savage Land (Relapse Records) [Death/Thrash]
Listen

Heathen Foray – Into Battle (Massacre Records) [Power/Death Metal]
Listen to “Fight”

Horse Lung – Gethsemane Haze (Independent) [Doom]
Listen to “Riff Wizard”

Incinerate – Eradicating Terrestrial Species (Comatose Music) [Death Metal]
Preview

Khors – Night Falls onto the Fronts of Ours (Candlelight Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Following the Ways of Blood”

Kontinuum – Kyrr (Candlelight Records) [Progressive Black/Doom]
Listen to “In Shallow Seas”

Kult of Taurus (Forever Plagued) [Black Metal]
Preview

Mare Infinitum – Alien Monolith God (Solitude Productions) [Death/Doom]
Listen to “The Nightmare Corpse-City of R’lyeh”

Mizantropia – Oblivion (Metal Scrap Records) [Melodeath]
Listen

Mournful Lines – Beneath Lies the Sorrow (Independent) [Melodeath]
Preview

Mud Factory – Project Extinction (Nocturne Media) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Dig My Own Grave”

Neter – Idols (Metallic Media/Plague Records/Satanath Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Triumphant March”

Nightrage – The Puritan (Despotz Records) [Melodeath]
Listen to “Kiss of a Sycophant”

Nomans Land – Last Crusade (Massacre Records) [Viking Metal]
Listen to “Last Crusade”

Orok – Ubermensch (Signal Rex) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Death of God”

Pestkult – Soul Collector (Satanath/Narbentage Produktionen) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Fuckin’ Hell”

Psychonaut 4 – Dipsomania (Talheim Records) [DSBM]
Listen to “Don’t Leave the Room”

Ravage Machinery – Subordinates of the Mechanism (One Man Army) [Death Metal]
Preview

Raven – Extermination (SPV) [Speed Metal]
Listen to “Destroy All Monsters”

Risen Prophecy – Into the Valley of Hinnom (Metal On Metal) [Power Thrash]
Listen to “To the Wolves”

Satanic Assault Division – Kill the Cross (Black Plague/Satanath Records/Metallic Media) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Kill the Cross”

Serpentine Creation – The Fiery Winds of Armageddon (Satanath Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “The Satan’s Supremacy”

Shakhtyor – Tunguska (Cyclone Empire) [Doom/Sludge]
Listen to “Pechblende,” “Schlagwetter”

Shining – IX – Everyone, Everything, Everywhere, Ends (Season of Mist) [Black Metal]
Stream

Stonegriff – Come Taste the Blood (Metal On Metal) [Doom]
Listen to “Come Taste the Blood”

Taiga – Gaia (Symbol of Domination) [DSBM]
Listen

Tony MacAlpine – Concrete Gardens (Independent) [Instrumental Shred]
Listen to “Concrete Gardens”

Tysondog – Cry Havoc (Rocksector Records) [Heavy/Speed Metal]
Preview

Unleashed – Dawn of the Nine (Nuclear Blast) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Where is Your God Now?”

Voice of Ruin – Consumed (Tenacity Music) [Melodeath]
Listen to “Our Need to Consume”

Whorion – Reign of the 7th Sector (Inverse Records) [Death Metal]
Preview

Wolfssang – Verwegene Einsamkeit (Schwarzburg Produktionen) [Black Metal]
Preview

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Photos VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, and VIA)

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