ThrashGangsters – Terror Has Begun: A Video Breakdown

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I’m picturing 1920’s gangsters wearing bullet belts and fancy suits with lots of patches.

ThrashGangsters are a German thrash band, whom I am also led to believe are some sort of gangsters. I don’t know if they mean gangsters like Al Capone or like Notorious B.I.G. Either way, they clearly hate using spaces. I’m going to assume that they used up all their money on this sweet music video and couldn’t afford a keyboard with a space bar. Note to all bands: Always use green screens and cheap effects in your videos. It keeps this column going and gives endless fodder to Metal Without Context.

 

Is this one of those old chain emails from the AOL days that told you that you had to send it to 10 friends or else you would die?

 

Leatherface’s loser brother, Suedeface.

 

Bad acid trip or cheap haunted house?

 

Summerslam just did not live up to the hype this year.

 

Steel Panther are kicking themselves for not coming up with the “Fire-Jizzing Guitar” first.

 

We are Anonymous and we are here to play Quake.

 

How exactly was this scene discussed?

“Okay, ve vill by tiny und playing on the drums. Zere vill be giant eyes behind us und they will be crying the blood and totally spooky. Zen hammer hit us und ve go flying, ja?”

* long spray-paint huffing sounds *

Earth got off light if you ask me.

 

This is why you don’t eat random pills that you find on the floor.

 

And this is why you don’t let your preteen nephew write, direct, and edit your music video.

 

Still a more trusted news source than One America News Network.

 

Now you know what Sarah Huckabee Sanders sees every time she closes her eyes.

 

It’s either a language barrier or everyone involved with this video had strokes simultaneously.

 

His only directions were “Act as unnatural as humanly possible.”

 

They could have had any amount of currency falling on them and they chose $1 bills.

 

I can only hope that’s a lethal dose.

 

Imagine what didn’t make the final cut of this video.

 

ThrashGangsters demo-EP Terror Has Begun is out now.

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