{"id":35895,"date":"2015-10-01T11:00:52","date_gmt":"2015-10-01T16:00:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.toiletovhell.com\/?p=35895"},"modified":"2015-10-01T23:26:40","modified_gmt":"2015-10-02T04:26:40","slug":"i-saw-van-halen-on-a-tinder-date-and-it-went-about-as-well-as-youd-expect","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/i-saw-van-halen-on-a-tinder-date-and-it-went-about-as-well-as-youd-expect\/","title":{"rendered":"I saw Van Halen on a Tinder date and it went about as well as you’d expect"},"content":{"rendered":"
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In which one poor idea becomes two.
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\nAt 7:30 Monday morning I awoke and looked at my phone, as I do every morning. Per usual, I saw\u00a0a\u00a0billion Facebook notifications<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0a trillion work emails. There was also a lone\u00a0email to my personal inbox\u00a0from Ticketmaster. It was a friendly reminder that six months ago, amid\u00a0a manic binge of purchases, I chose to throw down $94 for\u00a0two general admission tickets (including parking and the dreaded Ticketmaster fees) to see Van Halen<\/strong> at the Circuit of Americas Amphitheater in Austin. That night. I’ve loved Van Halen since early childhood. I’ve loved women since seeing The Fifth Element<\/em> in the theaters. I think I assumed that within the six months from purchase date to concert date, I would have found a girlfriend that would be willing to indulge my childish impulses to see dinosaur rock bands. I assumed wrong.<\/p>\n

I\u00a0had lost any desire to drive 45 minutes out of town to see Van Halen. As a young’un, Van Halen (never Van Hagar) was one of my favorite rock n’ roll bands. Van Halen II<\/em> was one of my first vinyl albums. I was always stoked to hear the opening strains of “Eruption” and “Panama” when the FM rock station would deign to play them between extended bouts of 3 Doors Down<\/strong> and that terrible Fred Durst\/Guy from Staind<\/strong> song. You know what I’m talking about. Unfortunately, my initial excitement was quickly extinguished by watching recent live videos of the band. Just… geez, it’s pretty\u00a0rough, ya’ll.<\/p>\n