{"id":41862,"date":"2016-01-13T11:00:10","date_gmt":"2016-01-13T17:00:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.toiletovhell.com\/?p=41862"},"modified":"2016-01-14T17:37:28","modified_gmt":"2016-01-14T23:37:28","slug":"a-selection-of-bawdy-iron-bonehead-limericks-chthonic-cult-slaegt-khthoniik-cerviiks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/a-selection-of-bawdy-iron-bonehead-limericks-chthonic-cult-slaegt-khthoniik-cerviiks\/","title":{"rendered":"A Selection of Bawdy Iron Bonehead Limericks: Chthonic Cult, Sl\u00e6gt, Khthoniik Cerviiks"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"fb-root\"><\/div>\n<p><strong>Iron Bone(r)head<\/strong> sent me some awesome promos. I \u00a0was so aroused at the prospect of covering these releases that I decided to pen some colorful limericks that accentuate the heights of impropriety found on these albums. Enjoy, you uncouth philistines.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Chthonic Cult\u00a0<\/strong>&#8211;\u00a0<em>I Am the Scourge of Eternity<\/em> (2015)<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/f1.bcbits.com\/img\/a2396361210_16.jpg?resize=280%2C280&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"280\" height=\"280\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/p>\n<p>There once was a cult born from the Earth<br \/>\nWhose\u00a0raunchy riffs reek like afterbirth<br \/>\nThey&#8217;re all covered in blood<br \/>\nWith drums slick like the mud<br \/>\nBehold the band of enormous girth<\/p>\n<div align=\"center\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"400\" height=\"100\" src=\"http:\/\/bandcamp.com\/EmbeddedPlayer\/v=2\/album=4280673344\/size=venti\/bgcol=0C0D0D\/linkcol=BB8D42\/\" style=\"position:relative;display:block;width:400px;height:100px;\" allowtransparency=\"true\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe><\/div>\n<hr \/>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Sl<strong class=\"Latn headword\" lang=\"mul\">\u00e6gt<\/strong>\u00a0<\/strong>&#8211;\u00a0<em>Beautiful and Damned\u00a0<\/em>(2015)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/f1.bcbits.com\/img\/a2507147148_16.jpg?resize=266%2C266&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"266\" height=\"266\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">If Thin Lizzy died and went to hell<br \/>\nAnd hung out with Quorthon for a spell<br \/>\nThe most righteous of\u00a0leads<br \/>\nAnd most unbridled speeds<br \/>\nWould ne&#8217;er more your mortal\u00a0unit swell<\/p>\n<div align=\"center\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"400\" height=\"100\" src=\"http:\/\/bandcamp.com\/EmbeddedPlayer\/v=2\/album=279025255\/size=venti\/bgcol=0C0D0D\/linkcol=BB8D42\/\" style=\"position:relative;display:block;width:400px;height:100px;\" allowtransparency=\"true\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe><\/div>\n<hr \/>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Khthoniik Cerviiks<\/strong> &#8211;\u00a0<em>SeroLogiikal Scars (Vertex of Dementiia)<\/em> (2016)<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.toiletovhell.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/KC_nathan.png?ssl=1\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-41867\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-41867\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.toiletovhell.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/KC_nathan.png?resize=270%2C272&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"KC_nathan\" width=\"270\" height=\"272\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/KC_nathan.png?w=421&amp;ssl=1 421w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/KC_nathan.png?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/KC_nathan.png?resize=298%2C300&amp;ssl=1 298w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 270px) 100vw, 270px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Lady chaos her cervix did spread<br \/>\nSummoning all fiends unto her bed<br \/>\nDrink deep of her acid<br \/>\nBe shamed, all you flaccid<br \/>\nOr your thrash boner will lose all cred<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1200\" height=\"400\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"no\" src=\"https:\/\/w.soundcloud.com\/player\/?visual=true&#038;url=https%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F240519567&#038;show_artwork=true&#038;maxwidth=1200&#038;maxheight=1000&#038;secret_token=s-kMR58\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>(Photos <a href=\"https:\/\/ironboneheadproductions.bandcamp.com\/album\/chthonic-cult-i-am-the-scourge-of-eternity\" target=\"_blank\">VIA<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/ironboneheadproductions.bandcamp.com\/album\/slaegt-beautiful-and-damned\" target=\"_blank\">VIA<\/a>, and <a href=\"https:\/\/ironboneheadproductions.bandcamp.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">VIA<\/a>)<br \/>\n(Khthoniik Cerviiks Stream <a href=\"http:\/\/www.cvltnation.com\/cvlt-nation-premiere-streaming-khthoniik-cerviiks-biinary-epitome-spyder_s-web\/\" target=\"_blank\">VIA<\/a>)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Iron Bone(r)head sent me some awesome promos. I \u00a0was so aroused at the prospect of covering these releases that I decided to pen some colorful limericks that accentuate the heights of impropriety found on these albums. Enjoy, you uncouth philistines.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":41868,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[39],"tags":[5947,298,296,6320,6358,6319],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/Untitled-design.jpg?fit=700%2C460&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41862"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=41862"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41862\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/41868"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=41862"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=41862"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=41862"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}