{"id":43500,"date":"2016-02-24T13:00:20","date_gmt":"2016-02-24T19:00:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.toiletovhell.com\/?p=43500"},"modified":"2017-05-08T22:22:04","modified_gmt":"2017-05-09T03:22:04","slug":"guest-post-5-metal-orchestral-collaborations-that-havent-happened-but-should","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/guest-post-5-metal-orchestral-collaborations-that-havent-happened-but-should\/","title":{"rendered":"Guest Post: 5 Metal-Orchestral Collaborations that Haven&#8217;t Happened (but Should)"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"fb-root\"><\/div>\n<p>In this guest post, freelance writer and friend of the Toilet <strong>Sean Barrett<\/strong> talks his ideal orchestral fusions with metal bands. So grab your black ties\/dresses and fancy arm candy, because we&#8217;re about to get posh.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>Much has been made of metal\u2019s penchant for the bombastic and grandiose side of artistic expression, as well as its links to classical music, and rightfully so; one could seamlessly draw a straight line from <em>The Eddas<\/em> and <em>The Iliad\/Odyssey<\/em> to Bruce Dickinson\u2019s soulful wails and<strong> Manowar<\/strong>\u2019s body oil. Unfortunately for us, this connection, up until recently, has been mostly exploited by the false (<strong>Epica<\/strong>, <strong>Dream Theater<\/strong>, N<strong>ightwish<\/strong>, et al.).<\/p>\n<p>Despair ye no longer! There is a stuffy, pretentious light and the end of this cheesy, sappy tunnel! Last year saw <strong>Paradise Lost<\/strong> and<strong> Satyricon<\/strong> take their grimness to new artist heights with the help of symphonic orchestras, because Europe is a magical realm where this sort of thing can happen. Also in 2015, orchestras have backed the not-at-all-metal-but-still-of-interest-to-some-of-you-probably acts <strong>Lacrimosa<\/strong> and <strong>VNV Nation<\/strong> (the latter of which was my favorite album of the year), whom I love because, on the inside, I am a deeply unhappy person. As we decay into the future, let us now ponder which acts we\u2019d like to see get the classical treatment next. Here goes:<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>1. Anaal Nathrakh<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Let\u2019s start things off with everyone\u2019s favorite hard-to-spell industro-black-grind maniacs. Within the hellish atmosphere of chaos lies a dramatic intensity which would be made all the more anti-biblically epic with some strings and pretty-lady voices. Also, these cats are from the upturned-nose isle of England, which makes this somewhat more likely.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\"  style=\"display: block; margin: 0px auto;\"  id=\"_ytid_51006\"  width=\"320\" height=\"240\"  data-origwidth=\"320\" data-origheight=\"240\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/kzQpiJjdprQ?enablejsapi=1&#038;autoplay=0&#038;cc_load_policy=0&#038;cc_lang_pref=&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;loop=0&#038;modestbranding=0&#038;rel=1&#038;fs=1&#038;playsinline=1&#038;autohide=2&#038;theme=dark&#038;color=red&#038;controls=1&#038;\" class=\"__youtube_prefs__  epyt-is-override  no-lazyload\" title=\"YouTube player\"  allow=\"fullscreen; accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen data-no-lazy=\"1\" data-skipgform_ajax_framebjll=\"\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>2. Katatonia<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">As they\u2019ve most recently put out an acoustic album, this one will probably be the shortest stretch on the list. An orchestra would fit seemlessly into the tragic beauty of songs from their melo-doom albums, and maybe they\u2019d surprise us all by trying this out on \u201cBrave\u201d. Also, while we\u2019re here, let\u2019s briefly welcome the other two Bloodbath-affiliated acts who are not Bloodbath.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\"  style=\"display: block; margin: 0px auto;\"  id=\"_ytid_24287\"  width=\"320\" height=\"240\"  data-origwidth=\"320\" data-origheight=\"240\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/r5tW9fekzJo?enablejsapi=1&#038;autoplay=0&#038;cc_load_policy=0&#038;cc_lang_pref=&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;loop=0&#038;modestbranding=0&#038;rel=1&#038;fs=1&#038;playsinline=1&#038;autohide=2&#038;theme=dark&#038;color=red&#038;controls=1&#038;\" class=\"__youtube_prefs__  epyt-is-override  no-lazyload\" title=\"YouTube player\"  allow=\"fullscreen; accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen data-no-lazy=\"1\" data-skipgform_ajax_framebjll=\"\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>3. Xasthur<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">For all it\u2019s lo-fi, home-made charm, Malefic\u2019s output has always been music of the spirit transcending flesh, albeit through grim means and into unspeakable astral hells. Would his tortured wails make sense over somberly non-distored violins and retain their power through unmuddied production? Well, it\u2019s on this list, so at least one person seems to think so.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\"  style=\"display: block; margin: 0px auto;\"  id=\"_ytid_51742\"  width=\"320\" height=\"240\"  data-origwidth=\"320\" data-origheight=\"240\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/UaEaEIfKo70?enablejsapi=1&#038;autoplay=0&#038;cc_load_policy=0&#038;cc_lang_pref=&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;loop=0&#038;modestbranding=0&#038;rel=1&#038;fs=1&#038;playsinline=1&#038;autohide=2&#038;theme=dark&#038;color=red&#038;controls=1&#038;\" class=\"__youtube_prefs__  epyt-is-override  no-lazyload\" title=\"YouTube player\"  allow=\"fullscreen; accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen data-no-lazy=\"1\" data-skipgform_ajax_framebjll=\"\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>4. Slayer<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>The time has come to address the elephant in the room. Metallica belly-flopped with <em>S&amp;M<\/em>, setting metal-classical relations back to the stone age. For this reason among others, I propose we send the best and brightest of the big four (or what remains of them) to smooth things over. Other reasons: the intro to Raining Blood done by four basses? Demented King-leads done by clarinets and violins? Are you fucking kidding me?!?!<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\"  style=\"display: block; margin: 0px auto;\"  id=\"_ytid_50041\"  width=\"320\" height=\"240\"  data-origwidth=\"320\" data-origheight=\"240\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/eQpvqPuDJWI?enablejsapi=1&#038;autoplay=0&#038;cc_load_policy=0&#038;cc_lang_pref=&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;loop=0&#038;modestbranding=0&#038;rel=1&#038;fs=1&#038;playsinline=1&#038;autohide=2&#038;theme=dark&#038;color=red&#038;controls=1&#038;\" class=\"__youtube_prefs__  epyt-is-override  no-lazyload\" title=\"YouTube player\"  allow=\"fullscreen; accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen data-no-lazy=\"1\" data-skipgform_ajax_framebjll=\"\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>5. Terra Tenebrosa<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Having already raised terror to an art form, what\u2019s to stop them from raising it to a high one? Imagine the feeling of falling you sometimes get while falling asleep, except it\u2019s happening to your soul, and disembodied voices cackle mockery at your descent. My only stipulation here is that every member of the orchestra must wear one of those black klan hoods\/dunce caps.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\"  style=\"display: block; margin: 0px auto;\"  id=\"_ytid_81770\"  width=\"320\" height=\"240\"  data-origwidth=\"320\" data-origheight=\"240\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/QpGS2K0huxQ?enablejsapi=1&#038;autoplay=0&#038;cc_load_policy=0&#038;cc_lang_pref=&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;loop=0&#038;modestbranding=0&#038;rel=1&#038;fs=1&#038;playsinline=1&#038;autohide=2&#038;theme=dark&#038;color=red&#038;controls=1&#038;\" class=\"__youtube_prefs__  epyt-is-override  no-lazyload\" title=\"YouTube player\"  allow=\"fullscreen; accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen data-no-lazy=\"1\" data-skipgform_ajax_framebjll=\"\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Bonus: D.R.I.<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">lol<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\"  style=\"display: block; margin: 0px auto;\"  id=\"_ytid_66646\"  width=\"320\" height=\"240\"  data-origwidth=\"320\" data-origheight=\"240\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/hYJVqlNNrAE?enablejsapi=1&#038;autoplay=0&#038;cc_load_policy=0&#038;cc_lang_pref=&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;loop=0&#038;modestbranding=0&#038;rel=1&#038;fs=1&#038;playsinline=1&#038;autohide=2&#038;theme=dark&#038;color=red&#038;controls=1&#038;\" class=\"__youtube_prefs__  epyt-is-override  no-lazyload\" title=\"YouTube player\"  allow=\"fullscreen; accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen data-no-lazy=\"1\" data-skipgform_ajax_framebjll=\"\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>What do you think? Was I way off the mark or too obvious (<strong>Messhugah<\/strong>, <strong>Earth<\/strong>, <strong>Pyrrhon<\/strong>, <strong>Agalloch<\/strong>, <strong>Skepticism<\/strong>, <strong>Portal<\/strong>, <strong>Dragged into Sunlight<\/strong>, and <strong>Pallbearer<\/strong> were not included for one or both of those reasons)? Did I miss anyone?<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>Thanks again, Sean, for the fun list.<\/p>\n<p>(Photo <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=laENCVp_aPQ\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">VIA<\/a>)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In this guest post, freelance writer and friend of the Toilet Sean Barrett talks his ideal orchestral fusions with metal bands. So grab your black ties\/dresses and fancy arm candy, because we&#8217;re about to get posh.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":43501,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"In this guest post, Sean Barrett suggests five metal bands that need to team up with an orchesta pronto.","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[2043,403],"tags":[1255,31,1501,131,444,246],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/orch.jpg?fit=700%2C394&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43500"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=43500"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43500\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/43501"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=43500"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=43500"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=43500"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}