{"id":59974,"date":"2017-01-17T13:00:04","date_gmt":"2017-01-17T19:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.toiletovhell.com\/?p=59974"},"modified":"2017-01-17T12:49:24","modified_gmt":"2017-01-17T18:49:24","slug":"the-battle-ov-hell","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/the-battle-ov-hell\/","title":{"rendered":"The Battle ov Hell"},"content":{"rendered":"
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The lines have been drawn. Steel, honed. The day has arrived. Who will be forced to leave the hall?
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\nRemember pitting insects\u00a0against one another as a child? You’d hypothesise with your friends as to which organism would defeat the other in a one-on-one battle, sometimes you’d find worthy combatants, trap them, and put them together in a makeshift terrarium, rendering the enclosure a veritable pit of death. Could a single bull-ant defeat a rogue huntsman spider? Only one way to find out! Oh, you were born in the post-internet age? Well, uhh…I’m sure you kept your hands clean and simply YouTube’d a bunch of that<\/a> shit<\/a> or something anyway, like the sheltered millennial snowflake you are. Today we’ve got something you might be able to relate to regardless though, a good old-fashioned music video duel.<\/p>\n

You may have notice during the past few weeks the toilet’s usually pristine white<\/del> cream<\/del> ivory<\/del> beige<\/del> bone<\/del> eggshell<\/del> off-white<\/del> lemon<\/del> khaki<\/del> olive<\/del> umber<\/del>\u00a0mission brown tiles have been rendered several\u00a0shades darker. The cause? A poo-flinging match between Boss The Ross<\/strong> and Richter Teh Armless<\/strong>. The insults have been building in intensity, the barbs became harpoons as the combatants gradually increased the hostility, each day a new battle. Today the siege culminates, today the victor of the war will be decided. In the past we’ve had the participants in our popular Recommendations Ov Hell<\/em> series get a little testy with each other, but so far none of them have began with\u00a0this level of rivalry.<\/p>\n

If you’ve missed those previous editions, they essentially entail two entrants who give each other a YouTube video to watch that they believe will be outside the other’s comfort zone. From there, the viewer must select the next video they will watch exclusively from the Recommendations sidebar, give their analysis, hilarity ensues, and the process is repeated. This one will be slightly different in that Boss The Ross and Richter have requested an independent referee, mostly just to ensure we don’t violate any UN\/Geneva conventions concerning\u00a0war crime. However, I decided that I alone cannot be solely responsible for deciding the\u00a0victor, as I’m liable to impart my personal opinions of the songs\/responses (and also am extremely susceptible to bribery), the winner will be determined via a trusty poll.<\/p>\n

Listen to the songs, read the responses, vote for the winner, simple. So without further ado, let’s<\/p>\n

\"4955781-fight\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\"btsvsricht1\"<\/a><\/p>\n

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\"roundone\"<\/a><\/h2>\n

BOSS THE ROSS
\nCircle of Ouroborus – <\/strong>“Skyline Painter”<\/p>\n

Knowing full well that I have sent Richter to the heights of TRUE METAL, I stab play on my assignment. And well, I get bummed out. First and foremost, I am greeted by a disgusting puke yellow album over and some weird hollow, reverb-drenched, horn melody thing. Admittedly, I’m quite flabbergasted. I’ve listened to some weird music before, but this… this was a whole other level of mind-numbing weirdness. How are you supposed to headbang to this? How are you supposed to do anything to this? MY GOD RICHTER! I know you don’t have any arms, but that doesn’t mean you have to listen to music that sounds like it was made without any arms. That was really quite a struggle to get through those few minutes. I am 5 out of 5 uncomfortable normies<\/a> right now. How many more of these do I have to do?<\/p>\n