{"id":62779,"date":"2017-03-03T13:00:58","date_gmt":"2017-03-03T19:00:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.toiletovhell.com\/?p=62779"},"modified":"2017-03-03T08:31:22","modified_gmt":"2017-03-03T14:31:22","slug":"shirt-stains-happy-birthday-mike-portnoy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/shirt-stains-happy-birthday-mike-portnoy\/","title":{"rendered":"Shirt Stains – Happy Birthday, Mike Portnoy"},"content":{"rendered":"
This is where I’d reference a Dream Theater song, but I don’t know any, so uhhhhh….gettin’ jiggy wit it. Na na na na na nana. Na na na na na nana.<\/p>\n
You may remember Mike Portnoy as the former drummer and backing vocalist for Dream Theater<\/a>, a band we have zero love for at Toilet Ov Hell. You may also remember Mike Portnoy as the guy who left the band he co-founded to join flaccid-dong rock band Avenged Sevenfold<\/a> only to get kicked out of that band a short time later. Since then, Portnoy has been playing with Adrenaline Mob (he left in 2013) and The Winery Dogs, started a bunch of supergroups that may have cured some insomnia patients, maintained\u00a0a garbage website<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0has put\u00a0out a metric fuckton<\/a> of DVDs. Seriously, why are there so many? How many prog nerds out there need to\u00a0air drum along to 40 different camera angles of someone drumming?<\/p>\n A lot apparently, because a special Mike Portnoy 50th Birthday t-shirt is for sale right now<\/a> for the low, low price of $29.95. What a steal! Now you can impress other dads at the super market with a shirt for a guy from some bands you used to like. You don’t even have to say anything. Your tired eyes will meet, you’ll give a slight nod, pretend to play a boring 10 minute solo, your hands will touch when you both reach for the last Hungry Man Salisbury Steak dinner, you’ll think about kissing, and then you’ll run to opposite ends of the store while thinking about how Lord Nefaryus was trying to corrupt your mind.<\/p>\n