{"id":68381,"date":"2017-07-09T09:00:40","date_gmt":"2017-07-09T14:00:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.toiletovhell.com\/?p=68381"},"modified":"2017-07-09T07:50:36","modified_gmt":"2017-07-09T12:50:36","slug":"sunday-sesh-we-need-a-new-big-four-heres-how-well-do-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/sunday-sesh-we-need-a-new-big-four-heres-how-well-do-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Sunday Sesh: We Need a New Big Four. Here’s How We’ll Do It"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Before you fly straight to the comments and flense me for such an idea, let’s talk.<\/p>\n

I’m not one to turn down a good flensing, though, so we’ll get to that later. In the meantime, let’s recognize that\u00a0this isn’t new talk by any means. At various times the talk was all about the “Big Five,” with Exodus<\/strong> completing the lineup. Others say that yes, it is the Big Five, but Testament<\/strong> is the fifth band. Not to mention every Big Four band is, by now, pretty evenly split on duds and hits in their discography. Slayer<\/strong> and Anthrax<\/strong> have at least kinda held on to some sort of unfocused and geriatric aggression, likely due to that pesky gout and how Ensure has really gone downhill in flavor lately. Metallica<\/strong> hasn’t been a metal band, or even an interesting band, in thirty years, and Megadeth<\/strong> will never, ever escape the shame of Supercollider<\/em>. Or Risk<\/em>. Or\u00a0The World Needs A Hero.<\/em> Or Thirteen<\/em>.\u00a0I\u00a0could go on.<\/p>\n

So we’re in a state of crisis here, and if there’s anything I’ve learned in frequenting metal blogs, it’s that you should make a lot of rash claims and propose the perfect solution so no one can agree with it. And if there’s anything I’ve learned from living in the land of the got dang free and the brave, it’s that democracy is the only answer, especially when haphazardly forced on something. And is with that American spirit I propose an international election system, complete with primaries and caucuses, to select new Big Four bands every four years. Guys, this is brilliant. I’m getting goosebumps typing this right now from how brilliant this is. Thrash metal is about to get so liberated. Here are a few rules:<\/p>\n