{"id":6989,"date":"2014-09-05T09:00:07","date_gmt":"2014-09-05T14:00:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.toiletovhell.com\/?p=6989"},"modified":"2014-09-05T14:01:45","modified_gmt":"2014-09-05T19:01:45","slug":"flush-friday-under-the-cover-of-darkness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/flush-friday-under-the-cover-of-darkness\/","title":{"rendered":"Flush Friday: Under the Cover of Darkness"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Cats are delicate creatures with complex emotions. Two of them, to be precise. Don’t buy into this “curiosity” drivel; I know from personal experience that any and all cat\u00a0behavior is the result of either hatred or fear. A meta-analysis of one zillion cat studies involving cats suggests that cats eat their food not because they’re hungry, but because — like all things\u00a0— they hate and want to destroy it.<\/p>\n

What I’m trying to say is this. Mr. Bojangles was supposed to be back from Italy\u00a0over a week ago and I’ve concluded that he hasn’t returned because he\u00a0a<\/strong>)\u00a0is afraid of you and your supreme weirdness, and\/or b<\/b>)\u00a0hates you because you’re dumber than natural home birth. Whatever the reason, his flushing\u00a0responsibilities have once again fallen upon our shoulders, and who are we to deny\u00a0the flush god his sacrificial weekend flushes?<\/p>\n

Upon further reading, you’ll notice that your beloved former President and I agree that there’s typically nothing to warrant a song cover’s existence. A band really has to make the song their own \/\u00a0be\u00a0T\u00fdr<\/a> to make me want to listen to it when I could always just go for the original. Prep your jimmies for maximum rustling. Here’s one that’s better than the original.<\/p>\n