{"id":76369,"date":"2018-02-01T09:00:32","date_gmt":"2018-02-01T15:00:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.toiletovhell.com\/?p=76369"},"modified":"2018-02-01T08:27:15","modified_gmt":"2018-02-01T14:27:15","slug":"stream-grinders-new-javapocalypse-my-maker-and-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/stream-grinders-new-javapocalypse-my-maker-and-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Stream Grinder&#8217;s New Javapocalypse, <i>My Maker and Me<\/i>"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"fb-root\"><\/div>\n<p>TOSS OUT THAT CUP OF WEAK, BURNT, AND SUGAR-LADEN STARBUCKS COFFEE AND TAKE A SHOT OF\u00a0<strong>GRINDER&#8217;S<\/strong> BRAND NEW, FREE-TRADE, DARK-ROASTED, POUR OVER ALBUM,\u00a0<em>MY MAKER AND ME<\/em>! IT&#8217;S JUST THE SHOT OF ESPRESSO YOU NEED TO BE UNCOMFORTABLY ENERGETIC ALL DAY! SO DOWN THAT SECOND CUP, PUT ON A NEW POT, AND CRUCIFY THAT MF CAFFEINATED CAPS LOCK! IT&#8217;S TIME TO GRIND!<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>EVERY WEEK THIS MONTH, THE PREMIERE, SUMATRA-SOURCED, CHEMEX-BREWED COFFEE GRINDCORE BAND GRINDER IS DROPPING A BRAND NEW ALBUM, AND TODAY, I&#8217;M PLEASED AS HELL TO OPEN YOUR GULLET AND POUR THE STEAMY BLACK GOODNESS OF GRINDER&#8217;S FIRST FEBRUARY BREW DOWN YOUR THIRSTY THROAT. AHHHHHH, THAT&#8217;S GOOD CRUDE!<\/p>\n<div align=\"center\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"400\" height=\"100\" src=\"http:\/\/bandcamp.com\/EmbeddedPlayer\/v=2\/album=3343175398\/size=venti\/bgcol=080707\/linkcol=BB9142\/\" style=\"position:relative;display:block;width:400px;height:100px;\" allowtransparency=\"true\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe><\/div>\n<div align=\"center\">____________________________<\/div>\n<p>IN CASE YOU&#8217;RE STILL IN A DAZE OF SLEEP AND NEED A JOLT OF CAFFEINE TO RECALL YOUR MEMORY, GRINDER IS THE BEST (AND PROBABLY ONLY) GRINDCORE BAND FRONTED BY A COFFEEMAKER. AS I RECOUNTED <a href=\"https:\/\/www.toiletovhell.com\/wake-up-with-a-steaming-cup-of-grind-courtesy-of-grinder\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">THE FIRST TIME I TASTED THE SWEET, ACIDIC TINES OF THE COFFEE GRIND<\/a>, THIS NOVELTY ACT DELIVERS GNARLY RIFFS, STOMACH-TURNING GURGLES, AND FANTASTIC COFFEE PUNS. WHILE GRINDER&#8217;S LATEST CHECKS ALL THOSE BOXES ONCE AGAIN,\u00a0<em>MY MAKER AND ME<\/em> LEANS EVEN HARDER INTO THE WONDERFUL WEIRDNESS OF THE NOVELTY&#8217;S ACT, AND WE&#8217;RE ALL THE BETTER FOR IT.<\/p>\n<p>YOU SEE, PROGRAMMER\/GUITARIST\/MASTERMIND NICK TOOMS MUST HAVE HAD A FEW EXTRA SHOTS OF ESPRESSO IN HIS MORNING BREW, BECAUSE HE&#8217;S INJECTED EVEN MORE WACKINESS INTO THE ALREADY OFF-FILTER PREMISE. ACROSS THE NEW ALBUM YOU&#8217;LL HEAR ALL MANNER OF SAVORY SAMPLES, RANGING FROM CLASSIC APPLE MACINTOSH ORATION,\u00a0<strong>DEATH GRIPS<\/strong> SOUNDBITES, ACCUSATIONS OF MURDER VIA BAD COFFEE (PROBABLY WHATEVER YOUR OFFICE SECRETARY HAS BREWING IN THE KITCHEN SUITE RIGHT NOW) AND A CRYPTIC WARNING THAT YOU CAN&#8217;T EAT AN AIR CONDITIONER! ON A MORE SERIOUS RECORD, THESE SAMPLES WOULD BE A GLARING DISTRACTION FROM THE MUSIC, BUT THANKS TO THE OVERALL WHIMSY OF THE PROJECT, THEY ONLY MAKE THE QUALITY OF THE RIFFS EVEN MORE DISTINCT!<\/p>\n<p>AND BUDDY, LET ME TELL YOU. THESE RIFFS BRING IT. TOOMS&#8217;S GUITAR WORK HERE LANDS SOMEWHERE BETWEEN\u00a0THE ZANINESS OF\u00a0<strong>SOCKWEB<\/strong> AND THE RAZOR-SHARP ASSAULT OF\u00a0<strong>AGORAPHOBIC NOSEBLEED<\/strong>. TRACKS LIKE &#8220;THIS MACHINE BREWS COFFEE&#8221; AND &#8220;CFFNE HIiiii.&#8221; FEATURE GENUINELY MENACING FRET EXERCISES, WITH RIFFS STARTING AND STOPPING AS SUDDENLY (AND DANGEROUSLY) AS YOUR HEART AFTER YOUR THIRTEENTH CUP OF JOE. THROW IN A CRYSTALLINE PRODUCTION (NO GROUNDS IN THIS GRIND) AND A SURPRISING SENSE OF MELODY AND CLARITY, AND YOU&#8217;VE GOT A MUG FULL OF SOME OF THE SHARPEST, CLEANEST GRIND RIFFS YOU&#8217;LL HEAR ALL YEAR. ACCENTED AS THEY ARE WITH SUBTLE NOTES OF HILARITY (FROM THE SAMPLES) AND NOT-SO-SUBTLE SHOTS OF ADRENALINE (COURTESY OF THE WONDERFULLY DERANGED DRUM PROGRAMMING), THIS ALBUM&#8217;S RIFFS CONSTITUTE ONE INCREDIBLY STRONG AMERICANO.<\/p>\n<p><em>MY MAKER AND ME<\/em> IS THE FIRST IN GRINDER&#8217;S FEBRUARY QUADRILOGY OF NEW RELEASES,\u00a0<em>I DRINK IT TO LIVE, SUCKA<\/em>. NOW THAT&#8217;S AN ETHOS I CAN BACK. HARD.<\/p>\n<p>WITH ITS WICKED BLEND OF DISARMING HUMOR AND ALARMING RIFFS, GRINDER ARE NOW MY PREFERRED SOURCE OF THAT SWEET CAFFEINE. HEAD OVER TO <a href=\"https:\/\/grindergrind.bandcamp.com\/album\/1-my-maker-and-me\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">BANDCAMP<\/a> TO MAKE IT YOURS TOO!<\/p>\n<div style=\"width: 330px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/a65.tinypic.com\/rc0yfc.gif?resize=320%2C240\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><p class=\"wp-caption-text\">PUT THAT GRINDER IN ME!<\/p><\/div>\n<hr \/>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/grindergrind.bandcamp.com\/album\/1-my-maker-and-me\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">BANDCAMP<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Grindyourbeans\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">FACEBOOK<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>TOSS OUT THAT CUP OF WEAK, BURNT, AND SUGAR-LADEN STARBUCKS COFFEE AND TAKE A SHOT OF\u00a0GRINDER&#8217;S BRAND NEW, FREE-TRADE, DARK-ROASTED, POUR OVER ALBUM,\u00a0MY MAKER AND ME! IT&#8217;S JUST THE SHOT OF ESPRESSO YOU NEED TO BE UNCOMFORTABLY ENERGETIC ALL DAY! SO DOWN THAT SECOND CUP, PUT ON A NEW POT, AND CRUCIFY THAT MF CAFFEINATED CAPS LOCK! IT&#8217;S TIME TO GRIND!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":76372,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"WE'RE OVER-CAFFEINATED AND HYPED AS HELL TO BRING YOU NEW GRINDER!","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[39,5625],"tags":[12347,1030,1029,11146],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Untitled-design-1.png?fit=710%2C375&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/76369"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=76369"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/76369\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/76372"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=76369"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=76369"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/toiletovhell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=76369"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}