A Selection of Bawdy Iron Bonehead Limericks: Chthonic Cult, Slægt, Khthoniik Cerviiks


Iron Bone(r)head sent me some awesome promos. I  was so aroused at the prospect of covering these releases that I decided to pen some colorful limericks that accentuate the heights of impropriety found on these albums. Enjoy, you uncouth philistines.

Chthonic Cult – I Am the Scourge of Eternity (2015)

There once was a cult born from the Earth
Whose raunchy riffs reek like afterbirth
They’re all covered in blood
With drums slick like the mud
Behold the band of enormous girth

Slægt – Beautiful and Damned (2015)

If Thin Lizzy died and went to hell
And hung out with Quorthon for a spell
The most righteous of leads
And most unbridled speeds
Would ne’er more your mortal unit swell

Khthoniik Cerviiks – SeroLogiikal Scars (Vertex of Dementiia) (2016)


Lady chaos her cervix did spread
Summoning all fiends unto her bed
Drink deep of her acid
Be shamed, all you flaccid
Or your thrash boner will lose all cred

(Photos VIA, VIA, and VIA)
(Khthoniik Cerviiks Stream VIA)

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