Go to One of these Metal Fests This Month
Peel yourself off that leather couch and hit the road.
We’re in the dog days of summer, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun. The festival summer series continues with more metal than you can shake a studded bracelet at. Grab your spritz bottle, double-up on Gold Bond, and let’s go!
Brutal Assault 2015
8/5 – 8/8
Fortress Josefov, Czech Republic
www.brutalassault.com
No, Enabler isn’t playing this fest. Neither is Heavy Chains nor Suburban Scum. The brutality is purely of the audio variety, and though it’s not exactly covered in gore and pornogrind bands, there is still a lot of heaviness to go around. Brutal Assault’s appeal is its variety. It has a little something for every type of metal fan. Death, doom, black, drone, the list goes on and on. Also, Emmure is there.
Bands: Mastodon, Agalloch, Candlemass, Katatonia, Dillinger Escape Plan, SUNNO))), Triptykon, Vader
Bloodstock Open Air 2015
8/6 – 8/9
Catton Park Walkon On Trent, Derbyshire, UK
www.bloodstock.uk.com
Bloodstock: Three Days Of Peace, Love, and SHITIJUSTHITANARTERY! Billed as the UK’s largest metal festival, Bloodstock has a whole bunch of worthy headliners on one stage. Then there’s a big drop-off on the second, third and fourth stages. Maybe they ran out of money booking Savage Messiah and Pro-Pain and had to settle for Mastiff, Loft, and Victorian Whore Dogs. Nothing against any of those bands, but compared to smaller stages at other fests, there’s not a lot of name recognition going on. Of course, it’s always fun discovering new bands and maybe you’ll catch someone right before they blow up big.
Bands: Trivium, Rob Zombie, Within Temptation, Sabaton, Opeth, Black Label Society, Godflesh
Party.San Metal Open Air
8/6 – 8/8
Schlotheim, Germany
http://www.party-san.de/news/
Party! Party! Party! Fold a white bed sheet across your body to create a toga for this fest. Reenact your favorite scenes from Animal House by smashing an acoustic guitar or spitting food on people. Wacken may have just ended, but there’s still metal to be had in the land of beer, pretzels, and crushing austerity measures against other nations in the European Union. My one gripe with Party.San? No Party Cannon. Party foul, bros. Party foul.
Bands: Behemoth, Cannibal Corpse, Samael, Asphyx, Melechesh, Mayhem, My Dying Bride
Heavy MTL
8/7 – 8–9
Montreal, Canada
http://heavymontreal.com/
This is a big one. Heavy MTL has been around a few years and helps demonstrate that a big metal festival could do okay in North America. We get three days of metal and punk with just a dash of rock and hair metal. There aren’t many festivals where you can see Pig Destroyer, Dokken, Warrant, and Andrew WK all in the same day. Korn is performing their self-titled album, so be sure to bring your cleanest Adidas track suit. 14-year-old you would be excited. Also, if anyone is going, please let us know what B.A.R.F. is all about.
Bands: Slipknot, Faith No More, Korn, Lamb Of God, Iggy Pop, Meshuggah, Coal Chamber, Warrant
Summer Breeze
8/13- 8/15
Dinkelsbuhl, Germany
www.summer-breeze.de
August is hot, humid, and gross. Let the cooling Summer Breeze wash over you like a Bud Light Lime Rita washes down the throat of someone who makes poor life choices on a daily basis. Shut your eyes and bask in the wafting stench of unwashed metalheads. Imbibe the stench of stale beer and even staler piss. The most interesting thing about Summer Breeze is that Kyle Gass from Tenacious D is playing with his new band. Enjoy the Rage Cage in all his glory.
Bands: Nightwish, Kreator, Sodom, Destruction, Paradise Lost, Death To All, Kyle Gass Band
NYDM Annual Metalfest
8/14 – 8/15
Providence, RI
https://www.facebook.com/events/338000959657897/
Yeah, I know. The NYDM Metalfest is taking place in Providence which is not, in fact, in New York. That’s ok, though, because that means New Englanders get to enjoy some brutal death metal in Misery Index and Pyrexia. There’s even a little doom as the cherry on top. While there really isn’t enough for this to be stretched out over two days, there’s also a preshow the night before featuring Pilgrim. Still not enough? You can go to the kickass Armageddon Shop while in town which is run by the guys from Dropdead. Providence is just the best, isn’t it?
Bands: Misery index, Pyrexia, Solstice, Monrach, Unearthly Trance, Churchburn, Thrash or Die
Motocultor Festival
8/14 – 8/16
Saint Nolff, France
www.motorcultor-festival.com
Motocultor sounds like either a Gwar villain or a terrible Megadeth song. Maybe it’s the name of a Motorhead-inspired car shop. Luckily for us, it’s actually a French metal fest with a stacked lineup. There are plenty of big names and some that I don’t recognize that may tickle your fancy. Judging by the promo photo for Sticky boys, something will definitely be tickled. Shudder.
Bands: Opeth, Carcass, Sepultura, Pentagram, Sick Of It All, Madball, Orange Goblin, Eluveitie
Ieper Hardcore Fest
8/14 – 8/16
Ieper, Belgium
www.ieperfest.com
Adjust your mosh shorts, tie-up your bandana across your face, and properly stretch for this hXc fest. Seriously, you don’t want to pull a muscle during Sick Of It All. You can’t stay true and represent the scene with a pulled hamstring. Despite being a haven for sleeve tattoos and spinkicks, Ieperfest also has a decent amount of metal acts including Pentagram, Psycroptic, Brujeria, and Rosetta. Props to the organizers for having a green policy, something that more fests should take part in. Heck, they even have their own garden, and all of the food sold is 100% vegan. Think of that the next time you shell out $11 for a burger that tastes like an old shoe.
Bands: Judge, Caliban, Biohazard, Walls of Jericho, Less Than Jake, All Out War, Slapshot, Doom
Kaltenbach Open Air
8/20 – 8/22
Spital am Semmering, Austria
www.kaltenbach-openair.at
This fest for the heavy metal fans that take the “heavy” part very seriously. Lots of death, black metal and grind here. I can practically smell the puddles of blood and pus. Also, there’s something called Scarecrow NWA. which better be a bunch of anthropomorphic killer scarecrows doing “Straight Outta Compton”. Also, there’s bands named Rectal Rooter and Progeria Buffet. It’s probably a good idea not to Google them at work.
Bands: Marduk, Dark Funeral, Krisiun, Anaal Nathrakh, Rotting Christ, God Dethroned
Obscene Extreme America
8/20 – 8/23
Montreal, Canada
www.obscene-extreme.com
Canada is certainly part of America, but really, this should be called Obscene Extreme Canada. I can’t hate the name too much, though, because this fest also has a great poster. Hockey is brutal and extremely tough, no question. What Obscene Extreme America lacks in slashes and icings, it excels in sheer awesomeness. Bring your ear plugs and prepare your neck for some serious shredding and slamming. +1 if you wear a Quebec Major Junior Hockey League jersey to the show. I suggest Bae-Comeau Drakkar or Acadie Bathurst Titan. You can’t go wrong with Viking-related jerseys.
Bands: Fuck The Facts, Dropdead, Full Of Hell, Immolation, Gruesome, Jig-Ai, Noisem, Rumpelstiltskin Grinder
Got any more August metal festivals people should know about? Post them in the comments section!
