Cane Hill – True Love: A Video Breakdown (NSFW)
Nü Love.
Cane Hill are a nü metal band from New Orleans, Louisiana. Yes, they openly say that they are a nü metal band. There has been a small but noticeable uptick in new bands drawing from the tank top-and-Jncos crowd of the late 90’s/early 2000’s. I wouldn’t say that the new bands sound exactly the same as, say, Static-X or Spineshank, but the general style and sentiments are there. I’ll give Cane Hill some credit for readily admitting that they are part of the often-maligned subgenre. Just saying that you are a nü metal band is a guarantee that a large swatch of people will not listen to you. Some readers here won’t even click the video below just because of that fact. You guys have the right idea.
0:02: Feces: It’s what’s for dinner.
0:05: “I’m a pretty, pretty princess!”
0:09: Pull harder on the string of your weirdo.
0:14: Shit goes in here.
0:20: I guess when you’re a fecophiliac, all your manners go out the window.
0:25: Nothing says “fill up some time in our video” like public domain video clips.
0:28: Or just straight up taking other people’s work.
0:32: I can only hope he contracted tetanus from sitting on that floor in his nut smugglers.
0:38: It’s the truth. I ain’t lion.
0:45: Urge to vomit rising.
0:52: So is no one else in this band or could they not get someone to cover their shift at Staples?
0:59: It couldn’t be because they were embarrassed or anything.
1:03: “Paint me like one of your French girls.”
1:12: I don’t know where Cane Hill is, but I hope the government nukes it soon.
1:18: Nice tattoo, but you were supposed to get that on your lower back.
1:27: For all of you struggling independent musicians out there, just remember: this band is signed to a real label.
1:33: And they were part of Rock AM Ring.
1:42: I feel the same way about this video.
1:46: This works better if you’re holding a pillow over your face.
1:51: This is more uncomfortable than the Dustin Diamond porno.
2:01: Someone, somewhere approved all of this for public consumption.
2:08: Those… those aren’t edible undies.
2:11: I mean, yeah, you could technically eat them, but…
2:19: I wonder if his parents proudly show this video to the neighbors, over cups of Mountain Dew Baja Blast and and Hostess Orange Cupcakes.
2:28: Welcome To Olive Garden!
2:32: Girls Gone Wild meets Cannibal Holocaust.
2:40: Money shot provided by the Kool-Aid Man.
2:47: Butt!
2:58: These guys are about 16 years too late for the Tattoo The Earth tour.
3:07: Come on, blood-borne illnesses. Do your worst.
3:11: More like Cane Hepatitis, amirite?
3:21: Maybe he can get someone to whip his patchy beard into shape.
3:25: Now I know why Suicide Boys never took off like Suicide Girls.
3:33: “Tastes a bit nutty.”
3:43: I think we all learned a very important lesson from this video: nu metal was meant to stay dead.
Cane Hill’s album Smile is available on July 15th via Rise Records.
