Fix An Album With This One Weird Trick

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Ever hear an album and think damn, if only I could change that one thing holding it back?
We all do, we all do.

Last week I posed this premise to the members of the Toilet ov Hell Social Club:

You’re allowed access to the raw tracks/files of a metal album of your choice and are given the chance to change one facet of the record. What is the single real-world fix you make?
(e.g. alter bass volume on ..And Justice For All, change the track order on Colored Sands, remove ‘I Ain’t Superstitious’ from Peace Sells, use the alternate cover art for Leviathan, that kind of shit)

While I find the task of selecting just one thing to alter somewhat overwhelming, many of our bowl-dwelling bretheren were not so inhibited and jumped at the chance to change some of the shit that’s clearly been bugging them for years. Now I didn’t think to ask their permission to repost their fixes on the original post so I’ve left them all anonymous, but I’d like to pose the same question to you all today and also see what you’d agree/disagree with here. So here are the responses from the group, check ’em out and then post yours in the comments below.

I’d delete “Unmask The Specter” off of Yob‘s Clearing the Path to Ascend and make it a perfect album.

Same for “Approaching Transition” on Cult of Luna‘s last one.

Boost the vocals on Decapitated‘s Winds of Creation.

Slugdge‘s Esoteric Malacology but with real drums.

Delete the drums from the new Imprecation album and replace them with a drum machine.

Take the kick drums on Vader‘s Litany and also replace all the other kit pieces with the kick sample.

Unmute the bass on Purgatory Afterglow while you’re at it, Patrique.

Mix Primitive Man‘s Scorn like Caustic.

Mix Cannibal Corpse‘s Vile like Wretched Spawn.

Include a lyrics page for this. Brilliant album, can’t make out a single word.

Replace ‘Funeral Moon’ for ‘Europa’ on De Mysteriis dom Santana.

On a serious note: send Stigmata and Rise of the Tyrant from Arch Enemy to Dan Swäno, instead of Nördstrom.
Those records sound so bad.

Go back and tell Metallica to mix Death Magnetic the way they eventually would for the Guitar Hero Metallica tracks so you can actually hear the bass and the quiet moments are somewhat dynamic (you can find this mix online).
That album actually isn’t bad but dear lord does it make my fucking ears bleed.

The fucking mix on Enki.
By fixing the compression (don’t know how that works tbh) and tossing whoever made the original mix off a goddamn cliff into a sea of sharks.
Seriously. [Cosigned – Lizard]

Make BaronessPurple not sound like it was recorded through a closed bathroom door.

Add a crapload of reverb to the flute on Dischordia‘s Binge/Purge.

Now let’s hear your fixes…

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