Flush It Friday: The Doggening


June is fully upon us. Wherever you are in this world, the weather is likely hot, terrible, and approaching another completely miserable summer (or whatever season it is in Australia). That’s why Friday is so important. You’ve shown this terrible world that another week hasn’t beaten you down. Now get in here, flush this Friday, and let me explain the hideous header image.

If there’s one thing you can say about your ol’ pal Stockhausen, it’s that he is a friend to the doggos. Good Boys big and Good Boys small, I will gladly scratch behind any and all ears. Except exactly two sets of ears: the ears of Stupid Dog and Whiny Dog.

Lady Stockhausen and I just moved, and moving is never a casual undertaking. We also have the wee baby Stockhausen, who adds a considerable amount to our daily routine, especially when moving and unpacking. We also have a Very Good Dog, and any very good dog will have a bit of an adjustment time when moving. So you can imagine our frustration when, about a week after we moved in, my mother-in-law informed us we would be dog sitting her two dogs, Stupid Dog and Whiny Dog, for four days.

Whiny Dog has some hobbies that keep her busy. She loves whimpering loudly for hours without any reason at all, despite repeated pettings and constant attention. She also loves barking insanely the red hot second she can’t maintain direct visual confirmation of a human being’s existence. Stupid Dog (pictured horribly above), whom I also affectionately call Warthog Dumpster Rat, has different hobbies. She absolutely loves all forms of extreme breathing; wheezing, hacking, groaning, snorting, you name it. She does that for seconds on end before immediately switching to her other hobby, which is barking wildly at the nearest corner of the room any time absolutely anything happens. Maybe the air conditioning turned on. Maybe someone started a car six houses down the block. Maybe I turned my head too quickly. These dogs’ hobbies are particularly great when the wee baby Stockhausen is napping. It’s also great when they anxiously chew giant holes in one of the doors in our new house! Meanwhile, Very Good Dog is relaxing across the room, basking in her angelic goodness, wondering what the hell is wrong with these two dumb idiots.

Anyway, it’s Friday. Warthog Dumpster Rat and Whiny Dog are back home and out of our lives. We, and the wee baby Stockhausen, can sleep in peace. In the depths of my despair, I asked the fine folk of the Toilet ov Hell Social Club to provide me with righteous tunes to help me cope with Stupid Dog and Whiny Dog. And as always, the Toilet delivered fantastic music all week long. Join us on Facebook (“Join the Group” link at the top of the page) to check out the Whiny Dog/Stupid Dog playlist thread, and check out the Weekly Wipe playlist below. Keep both playlists in mind next time you need to cope with some stupid animal or coworker’s face. Take a good open swim in the comments below, and we’ll see you tomorrow.

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