In This Moment – Big Bad Wolf: A Video Breakdown
Hello In This Moment, my old friend. You’ve made another crappy video once again.
Not too long ago, I did a video breakdown for In This Moment’s song “Sick Like Me”. Jokes were said, feelings were shared, and we all moved on. Well, almost all of us. ITM guitarist Chris Howorth aka “Band Member Who Isn’t Maria Brink #3” aka “Doo-Doo Locks” doesn’t take too kindly to negativity from the internet. I tend to agree because the internet is a cesspool of terrible, awful, no-good, very bad idiots. Just check any comments section of the internet other than ours of course. You guys are the best!
What I don’t agree with is Hosworth’s conclusion: “In the end I really do appreciate everyone’s passion, even the haters. (FYI, your hatred makes us more popular, so thanks!)” I certainly don’t hate the band, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say the last video breakdown didn’t exactly boost record sales. But you know what? Maybe this time it will! This Video Breakdown is dedicated to Chris Hosworth.
0:03: So far, it’s better than the last video.
0:08: *tires screeching*
0:17: Big Bad Wolfy-style
0:23: I sense a “Maria is dirty” theme going on with these videos.
0:27: Is that supposed to be a wolf mask or an ugly Kardashian?
0:34 So is there like, going to be a song or….
0:41: I appreciate that Maria decided to dress like Macho Man Randy Savage for the video.
0:45: Butt…butt…butt
1:03: Doo-Doo Locks! There you are, buddy!
1:07: I know it’s fast, but pause it right now. Look. At. That. Drum. “Set”.
1:12: Her cowlick screams “There’s Something About Maria”.
1:16: If their videos were nothing but spastic skanking, I’d buy every album.
1:21: Seriously. Every album.
1:26: And single.
1:34: I’m going to be a mature adult and not make the obvious joke about her dancing in a cage. We’re classy here at Toilet Ov Hell.
1:40: Needed: Women to stand around Maria Bink and stick hands in the air. 1-3 years experience preferred.
1:47: The video is dark as fuck and the other band members still have to cover their faces.
1:55: Those wolf masks wouldn’t make it onto Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
2:07: “Ugh I need a Mydol.”
2:14: “How do I play guitar again?”
2:19: And what’s with the X’s on the gazongas? They’re already covered!
2:36: Her crucifix ear plugs fit in perfectly with the video’s theme of…uh….um…
2:39: Here glittery eyeshadow on the other hand makes total sense.
2:56: I’m pretty sure the wolf masks get more screen time than the band.
3:05: Snap into a Slim Jim!
3:17: Again. Pause it and look at those drums. That’s just impractical.
3:32: I hope everyone got their tetanus shots before rolling around on the floor.
3:36: Mmm cherry pie.
3:50: This video is what happens when someone watches American Horror Story in between doing lines of coke off of a strip-club toilet.
3:58: What the hell is going on with her accent? Is she suddenly Dutch? Is she having a stroke? Is she having a stroke while pretending to be Dutch?
4:06: I just realized that literally everyone in this video has their face at least partially obscured except Maria. That’s just..I mean wow.
4:15: Is that headbanging or dry-heaving?
4:22: Dude, don’t spit. It’s not lady-like.
4:26: Hit yourself harder. Please.
4:38: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
4:43: Oh, I get it. The chains represent chains. It all makes sense now.
4:52: You really have to wonder where those fingers have been to have gotten so dirty.
5:02: Oooooohhhh yeaaaaaaahhh, the Macho Man is ready for action!
Chris, I hope that video breakdown helps you buy a solid gold boat with a diamond-encrusted mast. Godspeed, little Doo-Doo.
(Photo VIA)
