Lords Of Chaos – Official Trailer: A Video Breakdown

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How many metalheads are going to pronounce it “Lords Of Chah-os”?

The trailer for the Lords Of Chaos movie dropped this past week. Are you excited? Yeah, same. I never read the book that the movie is based on mainly because I already know the basics of the story. It’s one of those universal “if you like metal, you know this story” situations like Ozzy biting off a bat’s head, Def Leppard drummer Rick Allen losing his arm, or Metallica and Napster. You know it, so why read a book or watch a movie about it?

Well, the book made black metal nerds mad and now the trailer is doing the same thing. That tells me that both have some merit. I probably won’t rush to see this, but I have a sneaking suspicion that we’ll one day review Lords Of Chaos on a future Toilet Ov Hell podcast episode. Until then, let’s break down the official trailer.

 

*SQUAWK* Poser! *SQUAWK*

 

This new AllState commercial is intense.

 

I’m already appreciating how the movie is reminding people that these totes evil black metal gods were really just bored, dork-ass teens.

 

That’s Varg? Where’s his wizard hat and hilariously terrible martial arts kicks?

 

It’s crazy how something so dumb has come to define (in broad strokes) an entire subgenre.

 

This is how every game of Monopoly ends.

 

HAIL S’MORES!

 

Coulrophilia

 

Headon! Apply directly to the forehead!

 

Lords Of Chaos will be in theaters on February 8th.

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