Collect all these Metal: The Gathering cards!


Get in on the ground floor of the soon-to-be mega hit of the card gaming world!

It’s the brand new game that’s sweeping the nation: Metal: The Gathering. Pit your favorite heavy metal bands and musicians in a battle for musical supremacy! Set up your own dream matches! Will Exodus‘s thrash attack be any match for Cradle of Filth‘s “Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” shriek? What happens when Abbath takes on Jamey Jasta? Collect ’em, trade ’em, get into unnecessarily intense fights online about ’em! Let’s open up a pack and see what we have.


Eh, okay. This is a real beginner level card. You might already have a few in a shoebox somewhere.


Nice! While it’s not as powerful as a Metallica or a Slayer, the Anthrax card is still pretty good. Just watch out for the Neil Turbin card.



Cool! Too bad it wasn’t the super limited edition Manowar card that comes with an actual piece of one of their loincloths.


DAVID! DRAIMAN! This one is only useful if you need to sacrifice a turn. Or if you need to Yamma Namma-oh-oh.


Another standard one, but it works pretty well when you combine it with a Greg Puciato and a Troy Sanders card.


Sigh. No, no, it’s totally a good card. I just…y’know? Sometimes you just have these feelings that..I dunno. I’m just going to stare out the window for a little while and think about some stuff. Sigh.


Sand. Fucking. Wich.


Awesome! The King Diamond card is super powerful. Could be really good for trading if you get a duplicate.


Fucking goddamnit. Maybe you can give it to a cousin or something. I guess you can get some wings if you want. Mango Habanero, bruh!


Holy shit! The fabled “Power Metal” card! This is like Blue-Eyes White Dragon and Mew card combined. Don’t sell it! You will totally dominate with this one. Plus, you can use it to really piss off fans of power metal and Pantera.

Save up your pennies to purchase your next pack of Metal: The Gathering.

Did you dig this? Take a second to support Toilet ov Hell on Patreon!
Become a patron at Patreon!