Stormtide – Wrath Of An Empire: A Video Breakdown
Turning the Stormtide.
Stormtide, whose name sounds like it should belong to a detergent company, hail from Melbourne, Australia. They’ve been playing their brand of symphonic folk metal since 2013, but have just released their first full-length album this year. Symphonic? Folk? Lots of hoods? Keytar? Vegemite? What’s not to like?
0:26: A little Preparation H should take care of that rock’s glowing redness.
0:30: Tumbleweed on the drums.
0:32: “See you in Hell, Cloaky!”
0:36: Jeez, I can’t believe they all showed up wearing the same thing.
0:41: “Non-existent llllllllladies…”
0:46: He’s a human bobblehead.
0:51: It’s Captain Morgan’s Australian cousin, Private Tobias.
0:59: Mordor is a lot nicer in the Spring.
1:08: Looks like he only rolled a 2 for his beard.
1:22: The drummer always gets left out. He doesn’t even get a cloak.
1:25: Not sure what is funnier. The drummer now having a djembe or the guy on the left wearing shorts.
1:30: “This is where mom is and over there is the snack cabinet containing Fruit By The Foot.”
1:40: “That’s where the girls are and that’s where our virginity still remains.”
1:46: Apparently, they’re traveling to Earth’s gaping butthole. Hope they like Florida.
1:58: If we edit everything quickly, people won’t be able to tell we got these at Toys R’ Us.
2:09: In dreams, they’re naked and running backwards through these trees.
2:15: Good thing they have heavy clothes and furs on in this frigid forest.
2:24: If you don’t ignore him, he’ll just keep asking for change.
2:34: Lord Kanga-Roo demands more keytar!
2:37: If Jesus pops out of the water, I’m done.
2:41: Stroking his beard while staring at an almost naked man. I don’t like where this is going.
2:49: Okay, now you’ve lost me.
2:57: Aaaaaaaaand here comes the butt stuff.
3:03: Ugh. Furries.
3:11: “Guys! We still have time to go to ye olde discotheque!”
3:25: He’s a real Benedict Dundee.
3:31: Ain’t no party like a spastic dance party.
3:36: Someone got a bad batch of Mountain Dew: Game Fuel.
3:41: Just when you think BronyCon can’t get any weirder…
3:46: If anything, that’s making his beard smell better.
3:55: Welcome to Jacksonville!
4:11: This is like the world’s longest walk of shame.
4:20: Warriors…come out to play-aaayyyyy!
4:35: Ladies and gentleman, please give a warm welcome to Florida Governor and giant burning asshole, Rick Scott!
4:52: Soooo are they going to fight it or just stare at it?
5:13: Man, what did that flaming hole ever do to you guys?
5:26: That’s what happens when you eat too much Frank’s Red Hot sauce.
Stormtide’s album Wrath Of An Empire is out now via Metal Hell Records.