Superhorrorfuck – Son Of A Witch: A Video Breakdown
Superhorrorfuck my life.
The “Up next” sidebar on Youtube can be a magical thing. It can introduce you to bands you’ve never heard before, or it can remind you of bands you’ve forgotten about. Sometimes the related videos completely make sense and others are so head-scratchingly strange, that your morbid curiosity just can’t be contained. Today’s video breakdown should serve as a warning never to be curious about anything. Ever. It initially caught my attention while doing the breakdown for Simple Lies‘ “A-Men” video. The band is called Superhorrorfuck, and the video is for the song “Son Of A Witch”. Just on the band name and song title alone, you know we’re in for a lolbuttzy ride.
I had never heard of Superhorrorfuck before, despite apparently being a band for a decade. I went to their website to find out more, only to be greeted by a story that makes it had to separate fact from goofball fiction. Fine, whatever, they’re being “cute”. I’ll just go to their Facebook page and…what? “Hometown: Desperation City”. Ah, fuck this. The privacy policy on their site is in Italian, so let’s just say they’re from Italy and get this over with.
0:01: They spelled their name “Superhorrorf**k” for the video title. Weird, it’s like they’re ashamed of their name or something.
0:05: Superhorrorfuck have to go on Maury to find out who the father is.
0:07: Aw jeez.
0:12: That carpet really ties the room together.
0:16: It’s like the band was created on a dare of who can look the stupidest.
0:21: I will say that Courtney Love is looking much better these days.
0:25: The stench in that room must be overwhelming.
0:27: A mixture of sweat, old Little Debbie cakes, and shame.
0:29: That doll head is the least embarrassing thing in that shot.
0:34: It’s like someone took the worst parts of Steel Panther and horror punk and then peed on it.
0:38: They’re actually not wearing any makeup.
0:42: Appreciate that fact that the singer did not one, but two jerking off motions pointed directly at his face.
0:43: What is it with shitty Italian butt rock bands singing about masturbation?
0:49: The Olsen Twins have fallen on hard times.
0:54: Nice legwarmers, Alfonso.
0:59: Superhorrorfuck these special effects.
1:04: Drake ain’t got nothing on those dance moves.
1:08: He’s close to winning the “Ted Cruz Most Punchable Face Award”.
1:18: They blew the entire video budget on that tea candle.
1:21: Lens flare!
1:29: Now is a good time as any to tell you the names of the band members.
1:31: Dr. Freak – Lead vocals.
1:33: Mr. 4 – bass
1:35: Didi Bukz – Guitar
1:37: Franky Voltage – Drums
1:40: Izzy Wyldhell – Guitar
1:46: Just remembe that it took this band time, money, and effort to create this masterpiece.
1:50: I wonder if they make his pants in adult sizes.
1:54: Whoa, bad touch!
1:56: Possibly NSFW warning.
2:01: We’re all making that face right now.
2:02: Thing from the Adams Family finally gets lucky.
2:11: The “guitar as your wiener” look is never a good one.
2:15: If an adult ever deserved a noogie, now is the time.
2:21: Superhorrorfuck does not believe in sleeves.
2:30: We get it. You’re a son of a witch. Talk to your therapist about your mommy issues, not us.
2:34: Okay, definitely NSFW.
2:38: “Let’s have a naked lady in our video, but let’s not be anywhere near her.”
2:44: The video editor just punched his computer a few times to get all these fades and overlays.
2:49: It was nice of their landlord to let them film in the dank, urine-soaked basement hallway of their apartment.
3:01: No, we’ve already been in hell for the past 3 minutes.
3:05: Gasp! It was… ummm… something the whole time!
Superhorrorfuck’s “Son Of A Witch” single is out now. There’s another song on the single called “Threesome with the dead (unpluggdead)”. We’re all now dumber for knowing that.
