TOP ALBUMS OV 2025 W/ MEGACHILES & JOAQUIN STICK!
In case of any investigation by any federal metal blog or similar, I am listening to TovH’s LISTMANIA 2K25 DAY V, the 2013 re-release of their 1993 demo with some added bonus opinions, such as “Hyperboring Rectum,” an experimental piece dating all the way back to Megachiles and Joaquin Stick.如果任何联邦实体或类似机构进行任何调查，我正在听TovH的《伪仪式》（LISTMANIA 2K25 DAY V），这是2013年他们1993年重新发行的演示，并增加了一些额外的奖励曲目，例如”Hyperboring Rectum”，这是一首可追溯到Megachiles and Joaquin Stick.年的实验性作品. En caso de cualquier investigación por parte de cualquier entidad federal o similar, estoy escuchando LISTMANIA 2K25 DAY V de TovH, el relanzamiento de 2013 de su demo de 1993 con algunos bonus tracks añadidos, como “Hyperboring Rectum”, una pieza experimental que data de Megachiles and Joaquin Stick. في حالة إجراء أي تحقيق من قبل أي كيان فيدرالي أو ما شابه ذلك ، أستمع إلى طقوس LISTMANIA 2K25 DAY V من TovH ، وهي إعادة إصدار العرض التوضيحي لعام 1993 لعام 2013 مع بعض المسارات الإضافية الإضافية ، مثل “Hyperboring Rectum” ، وهي قطعة تجريبية يعود تاريخها إلى عام Megachiles and Joaquin Stick.
Megachiles
Don’t believe the haters, and 90% of my writing output for the past year: I did in fact listen to metal this year. I even put it all of it in a very nice and handsome list for y’all:
10. Deafheaven — Lonely People With Power
Roadrunner Records | Double Review
9. Lipoma — No Cure for the Sick
Independent
I have a base level of Carcassian melogoregrind that I must consume annually, lest I go full synthesizer and thereby be banished from the Bowl. Lipoma is the brain child of Max Pierce, who you may have also heard on this year’s rippin’ Haggus record, and hell’s bells, this guy shreds. Neoclassically even. On both guitar AND keys. So joke’s on y’all nerds, I’m still microdosing the Listmas dinner with doots n’ toots.
8. Agriculture — The Spiritual Sound
The Flenser
“Bodhidharma” is the hardest riff of the year, and my bravery in acknowledging this fact will go down in the TovH Annals as one of the most heroic feats ov 2025. Btw the rest of the album rocks insanely hard too. Go listen to it right now. Shout out to the Vavilov Centers of Diversity for giving rise to agriculture and changing the course of humanity and stuff, so now ~13,000 years later we get a cool ecstatic black metal band.
7. Yellow Eyes — Confusion Gate
Sibir Records
Fog? ☑️ Enigmatic colossus? ☑️ ☑️ Crustose lichens on a rock substrate? ☑️ ☑️ ☑️ This can only mean Yellow Eyes is back with that wyrd with a Y, skronk-adjacent, inscrutable black metal. I know without a doubt it’s good because it made me say “holy shit” and “hell yeah” and “wow” while I drove through DFW for a wedding, when I should have been fearing for my life and praying to my ancestors because I was driving though DFW. The Skarstad Bros. knack for ominous and grand black metal that doesn’t huff its own farts continues to go unmatched. Jokes aside, there’s a subtle beauty threading Confusion Gate’s harsh and rugged climes that’s best experienced firsthand. Like a centuries-old lichen growing on a billion year-old boulder, words can’t capture its spirit.
6. Abriction — Forbidden Bounds
Independent
Abriction’s back with probably their heaviest and most outright metal record, and bah gawd it goes harder than the Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater soundtrack. Black Metal by way of emo, screamo, and various -core music genres, with a healthy dose of electronic and pop segues and sensibility. Energetic and frenetic, but also deepily nostalgic and melancholic (in a catchy and relatable Midwest Emo way, not a dog whistle or “Hello, Human Resources?” black metal way). If you fucked with the post-black stylings of Agriculture or Deafheaven this year this album should not be missed! Also if I had a nickel for every album on my list that ended with a song about oranges I’d have two nickels.
5. Sallow Moth — Mossbane Lantern
I, Voidhanger Records
As the light of the lamp so enraptures the humble nocturnal lepidopteran, so too has the Artificial Brain-pilled, bouncy death metal of Mossbane Lantern ensnared my limited attention span this year. If “Aethercave Boots” doesn’t get you shakin’ ass abdomen, leave the hall. FFO: Cynic, jumpindafuckup, death metal but with lore, tasteful application of jazz fusion.
4. Grimhold — The Pale Curtain
Fiadh Productions
If there’s a big “a wizard, wise and powerful”-shaped hole in your heart, boy do I have an album for you. From deep within their fastness under the shadow of the Blue Mountain, Grimhold has referenced the sacred grimoires and cited the old magic to masterfully conjure an evocative, cold, and—dare I say—grim aural emanation (AKA real dope shit) from beyond this earthly plane. Otherworldly shrieks included! If you want specifics the The Pale Curtain is less Bal-Sagoth and more Old Man’s Child or Aspera Hiems Symfonia on the spectrum of symphonic black metal, but ya know there’s only so many ways to don that particular crushed velvet cloak. Highly rec’d. Also shout out to threnodies. Gotta be my favorite way to lament.
3. Curta’n Wall — georgie and the dragon
Grime Stone Records
It’s been good pickings for black metal about castles this year, aka “CASTLE METAL” (death metal about castles is an entirely different story; smh we used to be a country). From Weald & Woe, to Morke, to Kaikkivatias, there’s never been a better time to be a huge-ass nerd who likes melodeath pretending to be black metal crenelations and ramparts. For my money though (which to be clear isn’t very much), Curta’n Wall’s georgie and the dragon is king of the castle this year. The harpsichord melody in “norman keep” gets my battlements fortified like few things can these days, >30% of the lyrics are actually about castles, and, most importantly, my kid loves listening to Curta’n Wall in the car. Now plz join me in shakin’ ass to the guitar solo in the titular “georgie and the dragon,” and remember: supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from farcical aquatic ceremonies.
2. Paul Riedl — «Demystification» // «Forestscapes»
Independent
You actually thought you would get a full 10 album list without me sneaking in a late-breaking dank, cosmic slab of ambient music? You fool. You dingus. Stargateless behavior. «Demystification» // «Forestscapes» is a restorative and meditative journey through Paul’s various ambient music identities that drifts harmoniously between Kosmiche, New Age, Folk, and the spaces between across its hour and a half run time. Straight up: this is some of the most moving and beautiful music he has ever crafted. Sorry “Hidden Species (Vitrification of Blood Part 2)”, but “Your Echo” is now the Paul Riedl song most likely to make me cry. Also “Song For My Wife’s Love” confirms his status as death metal’s preeminent Wife Guy (complimentary). Top 5 type of Guy, imo.
1. Gates of Dawn — III
Death Hymns
Chooglin’ dad rock by way of Jerry Garcia, with black metal accoutrements (capes or spiked bracers, maybe). I can only assume the song with the 10-minute guitar jam is gonna go wild n’ wacky live, and when these guys hit the big time it’s gonna get recorded 10,000 times and each iteration will get the annoying-ass bootleg naming convention treatment; e.g. “Trembling Gaze 👉Samson and Delilah 👉 Midnight Rider 👉 Yakkity Sax 👉 Booty Hole Jenkins Medley 👉Rattlesnake.” As much as this prophecy pains me, these buds will have definitely earned such fan fervor. Common Minnesota W.
Joaquin Stick
A week in South Korea right around list season threw off my ability to write much about my picks. Here are things I liked a lot this year with minimal explanation.
10. Astronoid – Stargod
3DOT
Astronoid is fun again. The songs are wildly varied, infused with a new retro-synth twist, and most importantly, you can actually hear everything. Vocals are front and center, guitars soar alongside them, and that synth ties it all together. Astronoid’s appeal for me revolves around explosive, emotionally-contradictory earworms that make your hair stand on end. Stargod is full of them.
9. Cave Sermon – Fragile Wings
Independent
I have no idea how, just 16 months from releasing Divine Laughter, Cave Sermon delivered another gem of post/sludgy goodness. Fragile Wings is a bit stranger than the last one, fully deserving an experimental tag, but unlike most with that designation, they are pushing boundaries in ways that sound good rather than angular and offensive. It’s less aggressive this time, but somehow makes contemplative moments interesting by minimizing repetition.
8. Felgrave – Otherlike Darkness
Transcending Obscurity | Review
This is such a great progressive amalgamation of all the major metal genres that it should hit for anyone up for a bit of weirdness. I especially love how the cleans are mixed in, so far away, ethereal, epic. My one gripe is that the length of the songs and the album make this impractical to put on vinyl. Figure it out, TO.
7. Kardashev – Alunea
Metal Blade
These guys just can’t really do wrong for me. They’ve carved out a niche for themselves, and that niche is “everything Joaquin likes about modern metal.” It may not be for everyone, but I love the soft, soaring vocals cutting against the breakneck guttural moments. Fuck transitions. Fantastic guitar hooks throughout, it’s another banger.
6. Messa – The Spin
Metal Blade
It’s so easy to mess up doom like this. There are a million bands that try to do this and they end up at the bottom of my TMP lists after being given 8 seconds to prove themselves. That’s what makes Messa so impressive. They take a well-worn sound and DO something with it. It mixes in a gothy vibe, sweet mournful melodies, and an outstanding vocal performance to stand a mile above their peers.
5. Callous Daoboys – I Don’t Want to See You in Heaven
MNRK
I was always pretty on the fence with this band, but this one really hit for me. It balances annoying (not derogatory) mathcore tendencies with some great clean passages that are a balm after the sandpaper attack. “Two-Headed Trout” is probably the song I talked about most this year with random people out in the wild, and I’m continually concerned with how many people don’t remember the song used for the laser dance scene in Oceans 12. Watch a damn movie, people. Also, just caught the Grizzly Man sample on this re-listen. Ball knowers.
4. Dessiderium – Keys to the Palace
Willowtip
This is some real “wait, let this weirdo cook” type of shit. Alex Haddad created a monument to triumphant tech/prog that’s as exhausting as it is fun. If you have the energy for it there are endless catchy melodies jammed into each song, a schizophrenic vocal performance, and just the best vibes. It’s good mood music.
3. Dawn of Ouroboros – Bioluminescence
Prosthetic
Dynamics, baby! This album constantly gives you whiplash between soft, moody passages and ripping progressive death metal. As a huge fan of Velvet Incandescence, I was worried they’d slump a little releasing something so soon after, but this one has not a single misstep.
2. Blood Vulture – Die Close
Pure Noise
This album roused me from my reviewless slumber to write more than five words about it. That should tell you something. It rules. I don’t want to write more words, though. Just listen to it.
1. Tomarum – Beyond Obsidian Euphoria
Prosthetic
I’ve been keeping an eye on this band since their goatse album cover days. I knew they had something brewing. Well, they may have reached the peak with this one. This is magnificently, meticulously crafted proggy, techy death that never lets up. The recurring synth motif that starts some of the songs is so unique, and it’s fun to see how they play into it. It’s awesome. Good work.
Make sure to check out LISTMANIA 2K25 Days I | II | III | IV as well!
