Washington Think Tank with W.: Can these blackened hearts break free?


It’s a little after 8:00 pm here in Middle America. I’m sitting in a hotel room after an entire day attempting to solve all the world’s problems. I’m tired, and I could use a glass of scotch. However, I know that you, my beloved citizens, still need me. So I shall not rest. I shall not falter. I must do what is right. I must continue the proud tradition of the Think Tank. But, I need your help, because this next question is a doozy.

Today’s Question: Do supergroups ever work?

Citizens of the Toilet, please answer something for me. Do supergroups ever work? Can a collection of massive egos every truly create something better than the sum of their parts? Sure, you might have the rare example of a decent band, but for every supergroup like Murder Construct, we’re given three Hellyeahs. How many times has your heart been crushed after you blew all your anticipation over something that didn’t quite live up to the expectations? Dear friends, are supergroups ever worth it?

If you were offered the role of that omniscient nebula from Futurama and all of humanity was proffered to you to will as you please, could you concoct the one supergroup to end all of the arguments? Perhaps, but that is well-tread ground. Therefore, I’m going to up the ante and set even stricter guidelines. Could you assemble an untouchable POWER METAL supergroup composed of BLACK METAL musicians? Is it even possible? Let me try.

Vocals: Ihsahn – He has proven his dynamic range in his solo efforts.
Lead Guitar: Ice Dale – The man knows his way around a hook, as demonstrated by Audrey Horne.
Rhythm Guitar: Jeff Dunn – Dude knows his way around a riff.
Bass: Robin Isaksen – Let’s be real here; this position doesn’t really matter. But, Keep of Kalessin’s bassist knows how to play epic music.
Drums: Proscriptor McGovern – He could play literally anything and shriek like a banshee while doing it.
Keyboards: Ashley Jurgemeyer – Just to piss off the trve metal crowd.

Well, do you think you can beat my top tier black-hearted power metal group? Sound off in the comments below.

Don’t know what the Washington Think Tank is? This is a weekly column where your former President poses a pressing question and allows the top minds at the Toilet ov Hell to investigate his query.

(Photo VIA)

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