Wow! Glen Benton DESTROYS Teen Missionary with Logic and Satan
Mr Benton, you sir have won all of the internets for today.
Deicide frontman Glen Benton is know for doing pretty EPIC stuff in the name of Satan. Famously, he burned an upside down crucifix into his forehead. When the burn mark faded from his skin, he did it again. Repeated. TAKE THAT, GOD. But all of that pales in comparison to his latest CLAP BACK at our holy father who FART in Heaven.
Glen has been making the rounds to promote Deicide’s new album, Overtures of Blasphemy. In an interview with Revolver, Benton shared a blistering takedown of Christianity that will snatch. your. weave. sis.
ARE THERE LYRICAL THEMES ON THE ALBUM OR TOPICS YOU’RE ADDRESSING?
I’ll tell you a story about “All That Is Evil.” You ever see those guys on the bicycles with the white shirts and the fucking crash helmets riding through your neighborhood banging on doors wanting to talk about Jesus? Well, I was out here in my garage working on my car. It’s pitch black, right? And I’ve already warned these fucks, “Stay the fuck away from my house.” So I was bent over the front of my car putting some parts on my Camaro and all of a sudden it felt like someone was breathing down my fucking neck. I turned around and there was this fucking dickhead in his crash helmet and his white shirt and tie and his backpack and he’s trying to talk to me about Jesus something or other. All I know is without touching him I threw him off my property like a lunatic. “If you ever come back here, I’ll fucking shoot you, you fuck!”
THE GUY PROBABLY PISSED HIMSELF AND QUIT BEING A MORMON THAT NIGHT.
I know! It’s like, what is it with you guys? You’re like 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 years old. You should be out banging pussy and having a fucking blast with your buddies. What the fuck are you doing riding around my neighborhood on that bike offending all the people that don’t buy your bullshit?
WOW! A teenage Mormon missionary tried to talk to a 51 year-old suburban dad. WHAT A FUCKING DUMBASS. Didn’t that mor(m)on know that he was dealing with Glen FUCKIN’ Benton?! That kid probably pissed his stupid khaki pants when presented with the epic power of Satan and also a gun. This is a scenario that DEFINITELY happened and we’re all blessed that Benton shared it with us.
I bet you’ve owned a foolish Christian or two in your day but Glen proves time and time again that he’s the master of cooly and rationally destroying those stupid Mormons with the power of Satan. Simply epic, Glen!