Battle Beast – Madness: A Video Breakdown


Our house, in the middle of our street.

I wish I had some clever anecdote about Battle Beast or a story about how I first discovered them. Unfortunately, I don’t because they came onto my radar about two weeks ago thanks to a post by Nuclear Blast. Battle Beast is a Finnish heavy metal band, and much to my surprise, they’ve actually been around since 2008. Judging by the 86,000(!) views for this video, I have to assume they’re not so unknown. Let’s see what Battle Beast is all about.

0:06: Some tough-acting Tinactin will clear up that burning sensation on your face.
0:09: cough cough cough hack cough
0:15: Tushy!
0:21: I hope her hair makes honey.
0:23: Heiney!
0:26: Keister!
0:29: Bottom!
0:41: I’ll give Battle Beast credit. We’ve already seen the other members of the band more times than in In This Moment’s videos.
0:49: Boobs!
0:57: Caboose!
1:04: Choreography provided by your drunk Aunt Lucy at Christmas.
1:12: Ta-Tas!
1:17: Butt!
1:25: Fanny!
1:30: Buns!
1:40: Gazongas!
1:44: Keytar! Wait, I did it wrong.
1:46: Backside!
1:49: Ass!
1:58: That crack about your drunk Aunt Lucy doing choreography? I was wrong. It’s your drunk Uncle Louis.
2:04: “Oooh, your guitar is so pointy! That’s hawt.”
2:08: Rump!
2:16: Ladies, please! I’m trying to solo!
2:17: Tuchus!
2:19: Cheeks!
2:25: Bum!
2:32: Her cheekbones are pure Finland. Puts Tarja Turunen to shame.
2:37: Hmmm, I’m starting to see why this has 86k views…
2:44: Yeah…it all makes sense now.
2:53: Crotch!
3:05: Bazooms!
3:13: Gluteus Maximus (ugh, I’m seriously running out of different words)
3:26: Nether regions!
3:41: Patooties!
3:49: Boobness!

The song is good for straightforward metal, but man, that video. There are adult films that are more coy about butts and boobs. Yes, it’s technically safe for work, but you should probably keep the window low just in case your boss walks by.

(Photo VIA)

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