If You Can Read This, Thank Eenzaamheid


They tried to take us out. Here we are. Still standing. Still flushing.

Bob Parsons, the guy that gets a sexual thrill out of murdering the planet’s most majestic creatures, tried to fuck us. Bob Parsons, the guy that got your grandfather insanely horny for Danica Patrick, did his best to shut us down. He didn’t anticipate our secret weapon, the Toilet’s own eenzaamheid. Bob Parsons is a failure and a coward.

OK. Maybe Bob Parsons is no longer associated with GoDaddy but GoDaddy is continuing Bob’s asshole business practices in his absence. Much like an endangered African elephant, GoDaddy bought our webhost and put it down just for fun. I got an email notifying me that the Toilet ov Hell was scheduled to get two to the dome on September 15th. After bashing my head against the wall trying to get seven years of shitposts moved to a new home, I realized we might be doomed. At the 11th hour, I asked eenzaamheid if he had any advice for me. His advice? “Get the fuck out of my way and watch these keys go click clack.”

eenzaamheid at work

Through an absolutely heroic effort, eenzaamheid got all of our shit migrated, re-routed, DNS’d, DND’d, smothered, covered, and scattered – all before the walls came down and the Toilet was to be sent to the void, never to return. Let me reiterate: TovH was dangerously close to ceasing to exist and eenzaamheid saved it all at the very last minute. I am incredibly grateful for the work of this young Toileteer and I want the world to know it.

To commemorate his incredible work in saving this humble shit fetish blog, I hereby bestow this honor on one of our newest writers and a Dutch American hero. Congratulations eenzaamheid, you’ve earned it.

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