Let’s help Corey Taylor think of a better book title
America 51: Derp 4 Lyfe just doesn’t have enough zip to it.
Screamy mask-person Corey Taylor is releasing a book about how great it is to be an American living in America, and how when you’re not actually in America, you view everything as though your eyeballs were still there. In America, that is. Or something. The full title of his book, America 51: A Probe Into The Realities That Are Hiding Inside The Greatest Country In The World, doesn’t exactly make its point clear. And yes, that’s the actual title, even though it sounds like a poor attempt at the longest and least interesting book title ever to adorn a publication reduced to 99¢ at the local bookstore’s going-out-of-business sale.
A few months ago Joe gave us an exclusive look at an excerpt from this book, but apparently the publisher is still having doubts about that lengthy title, since it’s not something the average Slipknot fan will have luck spelling properly when they get it tattooed on their neck in bad scripty font.
Pictured: A fan of America and Star Wars, the America of movies
Mr. Dreadlock Mask Man loves long titles, having written two other books like A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Heaven: (Or, How I Made Peace with the Paranormal and Stigmatized Zealots and Cynics in the Process), and You’re Making Me Hate You: A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left. If you’ve ever listened to timeless metal classics like Spit It Out and Eeyore and thought, “I wonder what makes that shouty gentleman tick?” then surely these books will pique your interest! Just check out this glowing review from a pickup truck:
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Since all of us here at TovH are enormous fans of Yelling Jumpsuit Guy, let’s all pitch in and help him think of a better book title. Let’s make sure that forlorn dad browsing Barnes & Noble for yet another of his nephews’ birthdays notices this book and purchases it in the interest of reading about what the guy from Stone Sour thinks about our country, then gives up reading it due to his hectic work-from-home schedule, but affords the book a permanent place on his basement toilet tank lid. After all, we support our rock star heroes and we want them to do well! I certainly appreciate your contributions to this endeavor, and Sir Spooky Face appreciates them as well (probably)!
“I push my fingers into your eyes in thanks!” – Corey Taylor
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America 51: Random Collection Of Words Around The Word America Because America Is The Only Thing You’re Going To Notice. America. See?
America 51: I’ve Felt The Hate Rise Up In Me Kneel Down And Clear The Stone Of Leaves I Wonder Out Where You Can’t See Inside My Shell I Wait And Bleed
America 51: Fifty One Reasons You Will Not Buy This Book
America 51: Thinkin’ ‘Bout ‘Merica
America 51: Or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb, By Which I Mean My Albums That Have Bombed Critically, Because My Music Is For People Who Wear Jncos And Pierce Their Own Lips
America 51: Ghosts & Shit, Dude
America 51: Can You Believe That One Slipknot Album With The Fucking Sexy Skeleton Costume As The Album Art Ahh Ha Ha Ha Ha WTF LOL Anyway Buy This Book Plz
America 51: How I Got This Star Wars Shirt
America 51: You Don’t Need To Bother I Don’t Need To Be I’ll Keep Slipping Farther But Once I Hold On I Won’t Let Go ‘Til It Bleeds – Remember That Song? That Was Me, Corey Taylor
America 51: 51 Shades Of Clown
America 51: Can You Believe People Paid Me To Bang On Beer Kegs
America 51: There’s A Funny Story Behind Why We Call Slipknot Fans Maggots, It All Stems From This One Incident At Our First Show In Ohio (clipped for brevity) …Subway Sandwich And The Total Was $6.66 Dude That Was Crazy So After That (clipped for brevity) …Pulled His Pants Back Up And That’s Where The Name Maggots Came From
America 51: Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem
If you have a suggestion for a book title, please share in the comments below.
