MANOWAR Succumb to Falseness, Plan to Call it Quits

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After four decades of fighting, Manowar are announcing one last tour before conceding defeat to wimps and posers.

Seldom few warriors possess the skill and ferocity to survive one battle, let alone almost forty years of all-out war. For those aged true metal warriors, they must make a choice: perish in glorious melee, or lay down their steel and shuffle off to Boca Raton. For Manowar, that time is nigh.

In a statement on Facebook this morning, Manowar have declared that they intend to pack it in and call it a career. Weep not, fans of colossally cheesy power metal and airbrushed abs, for the band has one last surprise before they into glory ride. The band is planning a worldwide farewell tour, dubbed appropriately THE FINAL BATTLE. Though no dates have been released, the tour will begin in Germany before branching across the globe, and presumably com 2 brasil.

I’ve never been too keen on power metal, so I reached out to some of the Toilet ov Hell’s own power metal enthusiasts to get their reaction to the news:

Randall Thor: “Metal is dying. There’s nothing left to live for.”
Masterlord Steeldragon: “For years now, Manowar’s insistence that I have the blood of the Kings has been the only reason for me to not believe my mother’s words that I’m nothing but trash clogging up the genetic gutter.”
Boss the Ross: [Uncontrollable sobbing]

This is truly a trying time for everyone. I leave you with the band’s official statement and my favorite Manowar tune.

 

 

 

 

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