In these difficult and uncertain times, we sometimes look towards a higher power for help. That higher power can be as simple as a parent or a teacher. Maybe even an elected official or some sort of leader to help guide the way. For others, that higher power is a religious or spiritual entity. Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Odin, a rock that looks like a pickle. Whatever it is, it is a source of hope and strength in a world gone mad. For Finnish symphonic power metal band Nightwish, it just might be a stick.
That’s right, a stick. Stick, stupid. Okay, fine. It’s the Tree Of Life. As long as it’s not Terrance Malik’s “The Tree Of Life” then I can control myself to a mild dislike versus a blind rage. That shit movie sucked and blew. I’m not too aware of astrology or iconography, so I’m not sure what, if anything, the symbols and scratches mean. I’m also not going to look any of it up, just like you wouldn’t if you saw this shirt in passing. Needs a 69 somewhere in there if you ask me. It’s just a bunch of sticks and twigs with some letters placed on an eye-dulling array of tans, browns, and tannish-brownish-yellowish mud. If I squint hard enough, it looks like a horsey. Or the monster from The Ritual.
Rather than smashing your face against your computer of phone screen, the quote from Charles Darwin says,
‘THERE IS A GRANDEUR IN THIS VIEW OF LIFE, WITH ITS SEVERAL POWERS, HAVING BEEN ORIGINALLY BREATHED INTO A FEW FORMS OR INTO ONE; AND THAT, WHILST THIS PLANET HAS GONE CYCLING ON ACCORDING TO THE FIXED LAW OF GRAVITY, FROM SO SIMPLE A BEGINNING ENDLESS FORMS MOST BEAUTIFUL AND MOST WONDERFUL HAVE BEEN, AND ARE BEING, EVOLVED.”
Yeah. That. I guess. I’m not sure why that had to be in ALL CAPS, but there you go. It helps draw your attention away from the drab-ass drying moss colors behind it. While it might seem a little odd to have such a lengthy quote from Charles Darwin of all people on a Nightwish shirt, band members identify themselves as Openly Secular. Without wanting to end up on some mailing list, near as I can tell they’re a “Yay Atheists!” group. Knowing that, the Darwin quote makes more sense as Darwin’s work is often used as a refutation of religion. Openly Secular is led by the Center Of Inquiry, an advocacy organization that merged with the Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason and Science.
Boy does Nightwish lovethem some RichardDawkins. Hell, they had him guest on one of their songs. We even wrote about it over five (!) years ago. Maybe it’s best not to attach yourself like a barnacle to someone who has issues with sexism and Islamaphobia. If you have an article about you asking if you’re racist, you’re fucking up. I’ve never read any of his work and have no desire to, so I really don’t have much to say when it comes to that stuff. You’re an atheist? Cool. You’re religious? Cool. Whatever. Just be nice to each other. Maybe don’t hook your band up with a loudmouth that says stupid shit. At least Darwin never had a Twitter account. He’d probably use #turtlefucking all the time. Wait, what were we talking about? Oh, right. This shirt is gross.
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