Sunday Sesh: Graduation Party Playlist Jamboree
Hey champ, you did it! You graduated! Time to shoulder that boulder of student debt and slowly climb the ranks of corporate power! Maybe look for a house, consider getting a dog, finally stop all that boozin’ and whorin’ and settle down? But not this weekend. This weekend is for reveling in the glory of graduation, for pretending to your parents and family that you spent college working really, really hard and not getting baked and watching Donnie Darko on repeat. For casually name-dropping all those professional contacts you developed rather than the phone numbers of the guys who’ve got Xani for sale. For celebrating that diploma and then trying to hit up the book stores to recoup some of those textbook losses. This Sunday Sesh is for you, graduate. Let’s party.
One problem, though? What music is appropriate for a metalhead graduation party? Surely anything with blasties or growlies is out because you don’t want to field a million questions from the normies about why you like screamo. You probably also don’t want your Aunt Sharon to do her famous drunk karaoke performance on the dining room table, so anything grunge or early nineties metal is out. Sorry, AIC. And although you love rap music and wouldn’t mind seeing some loose booties in the garage, you don’t want your racist Uncle Buck from Scranton to call the cops, so sorry, hip hop is out too.
I guess that leaves us with trad metal and pop music. We can work with that.
Alright, first things first, we need something uptempo and peppy to get the festivities started. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: there is literally no better way to get a party fired up than to play Andrew W.K.’s “I Get Wet” as loud as humanly possible and on repeat as many times as possible [Fun fact: I listened to this song and this song only the night before my thesis defense, on repeat, for like eight hours]. But since you don’t want a noise complaint, maybe just play it pretty loud and only four or five times to really get people in the mood.
Uh, I guess we should probably play some other music here. Your old man was a big help to you during undergrad; he turned his back on those suspicious credit card charges and helped you move around from apartment to apartment, so you oughtta do him a solid and play some classic metal jams. Something he can sing along to and regale party-goers with stories of when he was in a cover band. Your old man loves DIO, and GNR, so let’s blend in some trad metal and hard rock.
Now, we do need some contemporary stuff for the young balls. Ain’t no way those fly partygoers are going to be shaking their hips to Manowar, so let’s drop in some nineties and 2000s cuts. Maybe even some newer stuff too. Just no rap (remember, no police)!
Oops, didn’t mean to drop in the whole A Night at the Roxbury soundtrack, but sorry not sorry. Let’s throw in one more rock song to balance out those club bangers. And another track to get the party HOT HOT HOT while we’re at it!
Okay, that about does it. We just need something really sappy to clear the room and make sure folks leave you big graduation gift cards. Well, buddy, let me tell you something. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, will pull on your guests’ heart strings like Vitamin C’s “Graduation (Friends Forever).” What’s that? I’m not crying, you’re crying!
Alright, grad, that should get you going! Just sprinkle a few of your favorites in here and there (and in the comments below), and you’re all set.
Now, I’m, uh, gonna listen to Vitamin C some more and think about some stuff.