This Toilet Tuesday (5/19/15)
You haven’t played many gigs you would consider outright bad, but this was definitely one of them. No matter which way you slice it, tonight sucked. You thought an all-ages show might be cool; despite the lack of booze at the venue, there was the potential to play to a wider audience than usual. That didn’t happen; you had to sell tickets at $15 apiece, and with only local bands on the bill, the crowd was doomed to be thin. On top of that, the promoter never showed up, sending his younger brother in his stead (who collected the cash for ticket sales and “forgot” to pay everyone at the end of the night). The sound tech’s half-hearted mix job didn’t help anything, though you imagine a good mix wouldn’t have grabbed the attention of any of the core-lite kids in the audience. Clearly you don’t have enough synchronized bouncing in your stage performance. This shitshow wasn’t your fault, and you want payback.
As you finish loading up your gear and are heading back to use the bathroom, you hatch a plan. You head down some stairs into a surprisingly grungy bathroom (given that this “venue” is in a church’s basement) and lock the door behind you. You close the seat cover, remove the lid from the back tank, drop your pants, and squat over it. Moments later, your revenge is complete. When you’ve finished your business, you replace the lid and flush. “Justice,” you rasp out in your best Batman impression as chunky brown water rushes into the bowl. Your work here is done.
You are the hero we need on This Toilet Tuesday.
Perennial Isolation – Astral Dream (Darkwoods) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Memory”
Are you the kind of person who feels overwhelmed in urban environments? Do you spend most of your vacations traveling through wooded glens and/or hunting trolls? Would your friends, if you have any, describe you as a bit of a downer? If so, Perennial Isolation is for you. Somber chords meet lamented shrieks with an interesting splash of syncopated rhythms to create the perfect atmosphere for being alone. FFO: Antlers, Everfrost, Windir (W.)
Tengger Cavalry – Blood Sacrifice Shaman (Metal Hell) [Folk Metal]
Listen
Last year, Chinese folk metal band Tengger Cavalry released one of my favorite albums. By drawing upon rich Mongolian heritage and using native instruments to accentuate the fairly standard heavy metal attack, Tengger Cavalry succeed where so many other folk metal bands fail. The cultural elements don’t seem hokey or tacked on, and the band’s rich soundscape transports listeners to an ancient land of battles and bravery. Do not skip this band. FFO: Nine Treasures, Eluveitie, Arkona (W.)
yzordderrex – Clear (Speed Ritual Records) [Doom]
Stream
There is an eternal gratefulness from the Toilet to Jared Moran for singlehandedly saving his state. This mad genius behind an unholy amount of projects once again proves that his quality and quantity can go hand in hand; the new album from yzordderrex is only a few months behind the last one and it absolutely rules. It is a positively filthy ode to all that is unclean, offering a gloomy and dissonant atmosphere while raspy groans echo across the landscape. This shape-shifting beast requires plenty of patience, but any fan of hideous doom will be pleased to sit back and wallow in the grime. (Stockhausen)
Vorum – Current Mouth (Sepulchral Voice) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Current Mouth”
As we approach mid-year, you can bet that each week for the foreseeable future will be jam-packed with releases. It’s not easy to find the gems among the rubble, and sometimes you just have to pick things based on weird album names, such as Current Mouth. I don’t know what Vorum had in mind for the meaning behind that name, but I do know that the title track absolutely rips. The vocal quality recalls some classic black metal influences while the music would put many death metal bands to shame with its pure, straight malice. This song sounds like it means you harm. If you like your metal rough around the edges and ready to fight, check out Vorum now. (Stockhausen)
Weedeater – Goliathan (Season of Mist) [Doom/Sludge]
Listen to “Cain Enabler”
Look, you know what this is going to sound like and I know what this is going to sound like. I just want you to pay attention to this. Weedeater has never played the slow and drawn out kinda stoner and they still aren’t into it. These are shorter and somewhat angry songs with some southern music and country flavor hidden deep beneath. There’s a whole lot of distortion and groovy playing here. Let’s just go home and jam this. (Karhu)
Adastra – Deadlock (Independent) [Heavy/Power Metal]
Listen to “Forgotten Heroes”
Adramelch – Opus (Pure Prog Records) [Prog]
Preview
Albatross – Fear from the Skies (Transcending Obscurity India) [Heavy/Power Metal]
Listen to “Jugglehead the Clown,” “The Empire of Albatross”
All Tomorrows – Sol Agnates (La Somba Records) [Djenty Death Metal]
Listen to “Eiden”
Artaius – Torn Banners (Bakerteam Records) [Folk Metal]
Preview
Crystal Ball – Liferider (Massacre Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Eye to Eye”
Demon Head – Ride the Wilderness (Caligari/The Charming Man/Wolf Biker/Smokedd) [Doom]
Listen to “Book of Changes”
Discreation – Procreation of the Wretched (FDA Rekotz) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Planetary Punishment”
Doomed – Wrath Monolith (Solitude Productions) [Doom]
Listen to “Paradoxon”
Emerald Sun – Metal Dome (Fastball Music) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Screamers in the Storm”
Entrails – Obliteration (Metal Blade) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Obliterate”
Eschaton – Sentinel Apocalypse (Unique Leader) [Tech Death]
Listen to “Falsified Existence”
Etiolated – Grey Limbs, Grey Skies (Armus Productions) [Doom/Sludge]
Stream
Eversin – Trinity: The Annihilation (My Kingdom Music) [Thrash]
Listen to “Chaosborn”
Faith No More – Sol Invictus [Alt-Metal?]
Stream
Review
Fragile Existence – Cataclysms and Beginnings (Independent) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Cataclysms & Beginnings”
Gôr Mörgûl – Heresy (Satanath Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Indoctrination”
Guardians of Time – Rage and Fire (Wormholedeath) [Power Metal]
Preview
Gutter Instinct – The Insurrection (Prosthetic Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “The Invisible Hand”
Hammer King – Kingdom of the Hammer King (Cruz del Sur) [lolbuttz]
Listen to “Kingdom of the Hammer King”
Harmony – Remembrance (Ulterium Records) [Power Metal]
Preview
Ilsa – The Felon’s Claw (A389 Recordings) [Sludge]
Stream
Ionic Bond – Amavashya Lore (Incursion Music) [Folk Metal]
Listen to “Amavashya Lore”
Ironsword – None But the Brave (Shadow Kingdom Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Forging the Sword”
Kanseil – Doin Earde (Nemeton Records) [Folk Metal]
Listen to “Panevin”
Killer – Monsters of Rock (Mausoleum Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Monsters of Rock”
Livhzuena – Dark Mirror Neurons (Klonosphere/Season of Mist) [Progressive Thrash]
Listen to “Shadows and Matter”
Majesty in Ruin – All Light Shall Fade (Shadow Kingdom Records) [Doom]
Stream
Mendel – Oblivion (Independent) [Instrumental Tech Metal]
Stream
Montes Insania – Absurdum (Symbol of Domination) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Absurdum”
Nex Carnis – Obscure Visions of Dark (Nightbreaker Productions) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Darkened Rites of Existence”
Nibiru – Padmalotus (Argonauta Records) [Sludge]
Stream
Osculum Infame – The Axis of Blood (Battlesk’rs) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Kaoist Serpentis”
Pyramaze – Disciples of the Sun (Inner Wound Recordings) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Disciples of the Sun”
Revolting – Visages of the Unspeakable (FDA Rekotz) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Fathoms Unto Forever”
Royal Quest – The Tale of Man (Independent) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Days of War,” “Rising Empire”
Rùsùah – Hitam Putih (Hitam Kelam) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Ant”
Secrets of the Sky – Pathway (Metal Blade) [Doom]
Listen to “Three Swords”
Seyminhol – The Wayward Son (Brennus Music) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Act II Scene 1: The Mantle of Madness”
Subconscious – Veil (Independent) [Progressive Death/Thrash]
Listen to “Veil”
Tales From Beyond – Putrid Realm (Independent) [Death Metal]
Stream
Triaxis – Zero Hour (Rocksector) [Melodic Metal]
Stream
Under the Abyss – A Future to Behold (Send the Wood Music) [Thrash]
Listen to “The Wrath of Nantosuelta”
Valborg – Romantik (Temple of Torturous) [Progressive Doom]
Listen to “Comtesse”
Valkyrie – Shadows (Relapse Records) [Doom]
Stream
Varulv – Wolfszorn (Talheim Records) [Black Metal]
Preview
Venomous Maximus – Firewalker (Shadow Kingdom Records) [Heavy Metal]
Listen to “Through the Black”
Xul – Extinction Necromance (Independent) [Blackened Death Metal]
Listen to “Orbit of Nemesis”
Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!
(Images VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA, and VIA)
