This Toilet Tuesday (6/23/15)


You lie awake in the wee hours of the morning staring at your ceiling. Sleep won’t come; your encounter with the stranger at the show last night replays in your mind over and over. Earlier that week, you bought shirt from a band you had never listened to, but you liked the design. You foolishly decided to wear it to last night’s show. When someone complimented it, you explained why you got it. The stranger’s smile turned to disgusted scowl. He uttered one word before walking away, a single venomous word that still rings in your ears. He was right; there’s no point in denying it. You have become what you hated most, that one horrible word: “Poser.”

There’s only one way to make this right, you think to yourself. You stand up and walk to the bathroom with grim determination. There’s only one place that posers belong. As you lift the seat and kneel down, you give a final nod to the toilet that has served you well all these years. You stick your head face-first into the water, your long hair spreading across its surface. Before you can have any second thoughts, you blindly reach for the handle and flush. The placid waters become a raging whirlpool around you, its tepid embrace pulling you ever downwards to a breathless oblivion.

Suffer not the poser to live. This is Toilet Tuesday.


Abyssal – Antikatastaseis (Profound Lore) [Death Metal]

Want a good reason to check out the Facebook group? Abyssal’s new album Antikatastaseis has been making the rounds over there, and everyone (even noted music-hater Christian Molenaar) agrees that this record is the cat’s pajamas. The group has seriously stepped up their game with live drums and weird, unexpected instruments, creating a harrowing and often off-kilter album that will drag your sanity into the murkiest of depths. FFO: Portal, Mitochondrion, AEvangelist (W.)

blayyze of perdition

Blaze of Perdition – Near Death Revelations (Agonia Records) [Blackened Death]

While browsing through the list of new releases, a Polish song title caught my eye. The nation with the sixth largest economy in the European Union has been exporting some absolutely killer metal the last couple of years (Embrional and Abusiveness have both been making the rounds on the Facebook group), so I trusted my instincts and clicked the link. I’m glad I did, because Blaze of Perdition have joined the ranks of boiiing-worthy extreme metal for 2015. Tasty and emotional riffs aplenty, folks. FFO: Desolate Shrine, Watain, Erebus Enthroned (W.)

brayyking benjamin

Breaking Benjamin – Dank Before Dawn (Hollywood Records) [Butt Metal]
Listen to “Failure” (or stream at iTunes Radio if you really, really hate yourself)

Remember when you were a young lad or lass and Breaking Benjamin had that song in Halo 2? Wasn’t that so cool and perfect? No, it wasn’t. Now, the worst part of your Halo memories (other than 10 year olds threatening to throat diddle your mom) is back with a new album or something. I don’t know. I thought it would be funny to write about it but then I realized I’m writing about Breaking Benjamin and goddammit. Instead of listening to this album, how about you just toss yourself in a pit of carnivorous lizards? It’ll probably be catchier. (Leif Bearikson)

unleash the ayyrchers

Unleash the Archers – Time Stands Still (Napalm Records) [Power Metal]
Listen to “Tonight We Ride”

My first experience with Unleash the Archers was on their last full-length, Demons of the Astrowaste, and I wasn’t really sure how I felt about them. The singer was undeniably powerful, but lacked restraint. The riffs were good, but the songs disjointedly meandered through what I thought were too many ideas for a single tune. For everything they did right, there was one little thing that prevented me from fully enjoying the album. That said, with “Tonight We Ride,” I am absolutely sold on Time Stands Still. It encompasses everything I love about power metal: soaring choruses, blistering leads, and that self-aware cheesiness that pervades the genre. It’s a lot of fun, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. (Spear)

Aasgard – Obscurantist Purification (Unexploded Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Invocation to the Infernal Shadow”

Abaton/Viscera/// – Diade(ms) (Drown Within Records) [Post-Metal/Sludge]

Ad Hominem – Antitheist (Osmose Productions) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Go Ebola!”

Airlines of Terror – Terror From the Air (Goressimo Records) [Death Metal]
Listen to “Terror From the Air”

Alldrig – Departure (GS Productions) [DSBM]

All Out War – Dying Gods (Organized Crime Records) [Hardcore]
Listen to “Nothing Left to Bleed”

The Black Atlas – Devils (Independent) [Ambient/Experimental Rock]

Carnivora – The Vision (Independent) [Melodeath]
Listen to “A Vision in Red”

Cultes Des Ghoules – Rise of Lucifer (Hells Headbangers) [Black Metal]
Listen to “The Rise of Lucifer”

Dagoba – Tales of the Black Dawn (Verycords) [Melodeath]
Listen to “Born Twice”

Dendera – Pillars of Creation (Metalbox Recordings) [Power Metal]

Descane – Impossibility (Deathfans Records) [Tech Death]
Listen to “Victim of Slavery”

Eyehategod/Psycho – Eyehategod/Psycho (split- FOAD Records) [Doom/Sludge]

Fleshdoll – Blood Red District (Great Dane Records) [Death Metal]

Forgotten Winter – Vinda (SlowDriver Productions) [Symphonic Black Metal]

Freedom Hawk – Into Your Mind (Small Stone Recordings) [Doom]
Listen to “Blood Red Sky”

Glowsun – Beyond the Wall of Time (Napalm Records) [Doom]
Listen to “Against the Clock”

Haddah – Path to Nefrath (Kreative Klan) [Melodeath]
Listen to “When Rage and Vengeance Desire Blind the Heart of the Mighty Berserker”

Horytnica – Pod Znakiem Miecza (Independent) [Folk Metal]
Listen to “Wyklęci”

Human Serpent – Inhumane Minimalism (Self Mutilation/Nebular Winter/Funeral Chants) [Black Metal]
Listen to “The World in Coffins,” “Starving Void Upon Earth”

Isenmor – Land of the Setting Sun (Independent) [Folk Metal]

Isvind – Gud (Folter Records) [Black Metal]
Listen to “Ordet”

Jail – Government Terror (Genesis Merchandise & Production) [lolbuttz]
Listen to “Destroy the Government”

Kadavrik – Grimm I & II (Testimony Records) [Death Metal]

Kingcrow – Eidos (Sensory Records) [Prog/Alt-Metal]
Listen to “At the Same Pace”

Kontagion – [R-!-E]LENTLESS (Infernum Media) [Superfluously Punctuated Metal]

Lord – What Tomorrow Brings (Dominus Records) [Power Metal]

Milking the Goatmachine – Goatgrind (NoiseArt Records) [Goatgrind]
Listen to “#Idiot”

Nomad/Wort – Nomad/Wort (split- Red Valley Records) [Sludge]

Pro-Pain – Voice of Rebellion (SPV/Steamhammer) [Hardcore]
Listen to “Age of Disgust”

Psychophobia – The Fall (Metal Scrap Records) [Black Metal]

Reklaw – Ecce Tabernaculum (Schwarz Klang Produktionen) [Black Metal]

Rosetta – Quintessential Ephemera (Golden Antenna/Init Records) [Post-Metal]
Listen to “(Untitled III)”

Sacrilege – Ashes to Ashes (Pure Steel Records) [Heavy Metal]

Satanic Ripper – Southern Black Spells (Blood Harvest Records) [Black Thrash]

Solstice Coil – Commute (Taklit Music) [Prog Metal]

Sonic Poison – Sonic Poison (Lifeline Records) [Punk]

Throneum – CACOMethamorphosen (Witching Hour) [Black Metal]

Thy Art Is Murder – Holy War (Nuclear Blast) [Death Metal/Core]
Listen to “Light Bearer”

To/Die/For – Cult (Massacre Records) [Gothic Metal]
Listen to “In Black”

Torment of Abyss – …iii.O.SSS – M.C.R.A.N. (Black Abyss Productions) [Black Metal]

Uskonrauha – Tympeyden ylistys (Bestial Burst) [Black Metal]

Did we forget a new release? Is there a way we could improve this list? Let us know in the comments below!

(Images VIA, VIA, VIA, and VIA)

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