Varg Vikernes is a Fucking Poser

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Louis Cachet, born Kristian Vikernes, previously known as Count Grishnackh and most commonly referred to as Varg Vikernes, is a poser. This news may come as a shock to those of you still wearing bootleg Burzum tees in this, the year of our lord 2018, but I must speak the truth. And the truth is that Varg is a fucking poser. We have the proof.

I hesitate to use the “P word” flippantly. In fact, I once wrote a loving piece dedicated to the proper use of the word. But it’s a sad fact of life that posers exist among us. Sometimes, they even to get to live their lives as lauded pioneers in a genre you all know and love. That ends today.

Varg Vikernes is best known in popular media for his short-lived role in 90s Norwegian black metal band Mayhem. No, Vikernes didn’t write the songs that black metal fans associate with the band, he simply played bass root notes on 1994’s De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas. Instead of gaining fame from creation, Varg’s notoriety with Mayhem arose from burning down several ancient churches and murdering Øystein “Euronymous” Aarseth, the creative force behind the band.

Sure, Vikernes did contribute some of his own music to the black metal genre but it’s difficult to truly ascertain his musical influence when his album sales are dwarfed by his t-shirt sales, the cache or his logo undeniable to a legion of edgelords. Vikernes briefly recorded solo black metal under the banner of Burzum before getting locked up for murder and eventually quitting black metal in favor of making atmospheric synthesizer music as made popular by Enya and eventually also quitting that in favor of ranting at a phone camera.

I’m sure you’re all aware of ThuleanPerspective, the YouTube channel run by Varg Vikernes né Kristian Vikernes. For those unfamiliar with ThuleanPerspective, the channel features self-shot videos of Varg opining on gender roles and race science, demonstrating his proficiency with various medieval weaponry, and playing his Lord of the Rings-inspired role playing game. Popular Twitter account HotMetalTakes recently shared a video from his channel, “The Top 10 Albums that Influenced Burzum”. Included was this gem of a comment interaction:

Vikernes claims that he had either never listened to Sarcofago or he had listened to Sarcófago and decided he didn’t like it. Allow me to add some context here. By the time De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas dropped, Sarcófago had already released three classic black metal full length albums, beginning with 1987’s I.N.R.I. Wagner Lamounier, founder of Sarcófago sent his records to and traded correspondence with members of Mayhem in the 80s. Euronymous was admittedly a huge, huge fan of Sarcófago and took liberal amounts of musical and visual inspiration from the band. And then Vikernes killed him.

Varg’s statement betrays either deep ignorance of the musical forces happening when he was supposedly an active musician or, perhaps more accurately, exposes that he never actually cared much about metal and simply used it as a conduit for his actual interests: spreading hatred, violence, and embarrassing Tolkien fan fiction. Instead of a notorious figure in black metal, Vikernes should be an embarrassing footnote; a racist young moron turned into a doddering old criminal. Varg is a fucking poser. Listen to Sarcófago.

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