Washington Think Tank with W.: Why does your favorite band suck?


Last week’s Think Tank post turned into an absolute bloodbath, and the carnage that ensued served as a fitting sacrifice for the ceremonies at the Bohemian Grove. However, Rome was not conquered in one day (or however that phrase goes), and I need more trophies to present to the Skull and Bones society. So, like a vulture, I am returning to last week’s discussion to feast on your carcasses.

Today’s Question: Why does your favorite band suck?

Last week we discussed bands that do not deserve the spotlight, and many of you chose to let your poser flags fly proud. Some of you were even brave enough to admit that your favorite bands definitely have fatal flaws. So in today’s Think Tank, we’re going to reopen those wounds. Tell me, what do you hate about your favorite band(s)? What aspect totally sucks about them? Although I’m typically content to be an armchair general and watch the missiles fly from the comfort of my oval office, I decided that this time I would lead by example.

As many of you know, I am an absolute Meshuggah fanboy. I have all of their releases (except the original Psykisk Tesbtild demo), and I’ve seen the gang of trend-setting Swedes live multiple times. My love for Meshuggah is almost unconditional. Almost. Despite holding them in the highest echelons of my esteem, I do have a few tiny nitpicks with my favorite band.

1. Jens’ vocals aren’t exactly the most varied thing in the world (although I would argue that he is good at altering the pitch to meet the needs of the song). Exhibit A.

2.  The riffs have definitely simplified in favor of groove. Compare Exhibit B to Exhibit C.

3. They spawned djent, and I don’t think I can ever forgive them for it. Exhibit D.

So, now that I’ve opened myself to ridicule and judgment, it’s your turn. Why does your favorite band actually suck?

Don’t know what the Washington Think Tank is? This is a weekly column where your former President poses a pressing question and allows the top minds at the Toilet ov Hell to investigate his query.

(Photo VIA)

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