Wolfenstein 2 ends with the world’s worst metal cover

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This post does not contain any story spoilers.

I don’t often find the time to play video games, let alone brand new video games, so you can imagine how stoked I was on Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus dropping this month. I finally got to finish the game last night and I enjoyed it just as much, if not more than series predecessor Wolfenstein: The New Order. The storyline was over-the-top gory and bizarre and funny. The gameplay was challenging and satisfying. Most importantly, I got to murder thousands of digital nazis in increasingly violent ways.

Overall, I’d say the game was well worth my $60. I put in ~25 hours in completing the main campaign on a moderate difficulty level. I just have two complaints with Wolfenstein. First, I hate that the game scatters various collectible baubles throughout the levels. This should be a game about delivering Nazi death, not searching for a trading card in a pile of rubble. Fuck outta here with that game-padding nonsense, Bethesda. My other complaint is whatever this is.

After being treated to an extremely blood-soaked and satisfying final scene, the closing credits immediately launch into this god-awful cover of Twisted Sister‘s “We’re Not Gonna Take It”. On paper, the song selection makes sense, kinda. The cheeky rebellion of “We’re Not Gonna Take It” is a lighthearted compliment to the pitch black humor of Wolfenstein. In practice, this is a cringe-inducing slog through metal’s worst impulses.

Poorly growled vocals that don’t fit the song? Check. Pointless breakdowns? Check. Sweeps? Check. Djent? Check. A children’s choir? Fuck, that’s there too. Most galling is the song’s torturous eight-and-a-half minute runtime. I would believe you if you told me the song was generated by whatever algorithm In Flames uses to shit out their new records.

The cover is by an entity called Veilröth that is almost certainly not the dude from Alghazanth. As far as I can tell, this Twisted Sister cover is the only thing Veilröth has ever released. Some cursory digging shows that Tommy Hjelm of Insense and Beaten to Death handled the vocals on this song. I’m not exactly the biggest Twisted Sister fan, but why in the world didn’t the Wolfenstein team use the original track? Or better yet, literally anything else? If given the opportunity to expose a wide audience to heavy metal, I cannot think of a worse choice than this awful, awful cover.

What would you choose to blast at a captive audience of gamer nerds? Sound off in the comments below.

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