Doug Moore is the Sexiest Dude in Metal

July 25, 2017

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We brought you a harem of 32 hot dudes and forced them to pair off in hot, sweaty man-on-man competition. The battle is over and the entire field of sexy guys is exhausted and breathing heavy. All but one man. The sexiest dude in metal: Pyrrhon‘s Doug Moore.

Inspired by Revolver Magazine, who, against all odds and relevance, just published their annual collection of the “25 HOTTEST CHICKS IN HARD ROCK”, we’ve decided to reduce humanity to its basest, most bangable instincts. The TovH writing staff made our selections for 32 of our favorite heavy metal hunks and we’ve placed them all in sweaty head-to-head competition against each other for our own carnal amusement. We’ve decided to include metal guys young and old, in addition to a couple of dearly departed, especially sexy dudes. Which hottie will take home the crown of Sexiest Dude in Metal? It’s up to you, the reader.

When we last met, the competition was whittled down to just one final matchup. Eternally sexy Peter Steele versus the young, nubile buck Doug Moore. How did it shake out?

It was a close fight, but overall Doug Moore’s sharp wit, keen writing skill, and fine musicianship took the day. Just kidding! It was his handsome face and rippling muscles that earned him the crown. This was about finding the sexiest dude in metal, not the most book readin’ dude in metal.

Some words from our writing staff:

“I first saw the face of true male beauty on May 13, 2015, when Sir Edward posted an interview with this fine specimen (that header image…) Here is a guy who looks like he could wake up in the morning, walk out of the house, and turn the head of every male and female without even doctoring himself up one bit. He’s got the guns of a man who chainsaws pesky tree limbs on the block, just to be a kind neighbor. His eyes are kind and gentle, as if to express “I’ll come get you from the airport, no problem!” And don’t get me started on the long hair (just thinking about it making me a little lightheaded). Doug is a man who oozes sexiness without even trying; and its that self-assuredness which places him above and beyond the competition.” –McNulty

“A couple months ago, W and I ventured to Asheville to catch Pyrrhon. I always thought W was into them because he loves purposefully obscure and difficult music, but once I saw the tantalizing heartthrob known as Doug flex those arms, I knew it was never about the music. I awkwardly tried to talk about power metal, but like a shy schoolgirl in my slice of life anime, I could make no headway into catching this dreamboat’s attention. Fortunately, my Doug Moore body pillow allows me to pretend.” –Randall Thor

“When I read Doug Moore’s monthly column, The Black Market, I appreciate the keen insights into heavy music and the creative process. But more importantly, I think about the hands that typed that column, those gentle hands leading to well-defined arms and also of Doug’s soulful, bearded face reflected in the monitor as he expresses his deepest, darkest feelings about the latest release from Piss Vortex. Congratulations on winning the greatest of all honors, you beautiful man.” –Jason Kolkey

–365 Days of Horror