Aevum – Impressions – Lost Soul: A Video Breakdown
Who’s an Aevum? What’s an Aevum?
You ever come across a band and then completely forget how you found them? That’s what I’m going through with Aevum. I have no idea how I found this band. I don’t listen to “Operatic Power Metal” or “Symphonic Opera Metal” or whatever you want to call it. I’m not even sure I can name five bands that fall under that category. I guess Nightwish could be one. I think Therion might be another. Some of them wear corsets, does that count? Does Leaves’ Eyes count or are they Folk Power or something? The point is, I don’t know where I found this band and their video, but I’m really glad I did.
0:05: STRANGER DANGER!
0:09: Davey Havok looks terrible.
0:16: That totally counts as making it to first base for this guy.
0:21: It’s Maureen Ponderosa!
0:27: Everyone, please say hi to Dani Filth‘s dorky younger brother, Julius Filth.
0:32: Hey, it’s one of the extras from “Eyes Wide Shut”
0:41: Shrouded in smoke and darkness. Must be the drummer.
0:46: Did they light this video with their cars’ headlights?
0:50: The instruments are getting more face time than their actual faces. Smart.
0:54: Who let Hobo Hipster in the group? Doesn’t fit with the band at all.
0:56: Now the witch I understand.
1:07: Was this video made in Final Cut Amateur?
1:11: Guh, nothing gets Renaissance Fair paint out!
1:17: Is that…do they have bagpipes?
1:25: I’ll get you, my pretty! EEEHEHEHEHEHE!
1:33: Why is the keyboardist wearing a mask? It’s like he’s embarrassed to be in this band or something.
1:50: It’s hard to be stern-faced when you have those white contact lenses. No one’s buying it.
1:55: I know it’s fast, but the keyboardist licked his face. There’s no joke to be made, I just want to make sure everyone acknowledges it.
2:02: I wonder how Dennis feels about Maureen Ponderosa seeing this other guy.
2:10: Always use protection. You never know if you partner occasionally bleeds from the eyes.
2:11: Or anywhere else.
2:20: Oh, shit. It’s airborne!
2:23: Julius, if you keep screaming like that, you don’t get any ice cream after supper.
2:36: He licked his face again! Did someone smear peanut butter on his nose?
2:43: Yeah, masks. We get it.
2:47: She has some seriously red lips. I wonder how many cherry Tootsie Pops she had to eat.
2:53: The best thing about Hipster Hobo is his top hat. His bindle must be off-screen.
3:01: Julius, for the last time, shave that stupid beard!
3:08: I mean it, Julius!
3:14: I don’t care if the rest of your bandmates have stupid facial hair. You’re a Filth, damn it! Act like it.
3:23: Good thing they have two keyboardists. Otherwise they might sound ridiculous.
3:29: How about a little fire, Scarecrow?
3:37: Tonight, Masked Keyboardist will be played by Japanese wrestling legend Jushin Liger.
3:42: Julius, what did I say about that eyebrow piercing?! Now finish your application for Subway!
3:51: Love that unexpected tempo change.
4:04: They really broke the budget with that candelabra and ink well.
4:11: STRANGER DANGER!
4:15: Those shoes!
4:19: Fuck it, I’m outta here.
4:26: Holy shit, credits? The video actually has credits.
4:40: It’s never good when the music played over the advertisement for your album is better than the video you just watched.
Well that was something special. Special as in “Everyone gets a trophy” special. It’s not my thing, but there’s probably a few people out there who would enjoy Aevum. Possibly at a corset shop. Or more likely, a Renaissance Fair.