Chris Barnes’s Twitter Account Is a Work of Found Poetry


Roses are red, Violets are blue. Chris Barnes is on Twitter, that should excite you.

One can find art in just about anything. Some find beauty in the petals of a freshly bloomed flower. Others discover themselves in the fading light of an autumn sunset. There’s probably more than a few out there who just rub their eyes a lot and then stare directly into the sun. Still, there is one place where art is undeniable: Chris Barnes’ Twitter account.

Barnes, vocalist for Six Feet Under and former vocalist for Cannibal Corpse and one pretty good Torture Killer album, is no stranger to the finer points of crafting lyrical creativity. Would you expect anything less from the wordsmith who penned “Meat Hook Sodomy”, “I Cum Blood” and “Rancid Amputation”? After all, he does join a number of metal musicians starring in commercials as the spokesman for Park Auto Mall. That has to count for something!

Found poetry is where words, phrases, and even entire sentences are taken from various sources and placed together to form a poem. A good example of found poetry comes from the speeches of former U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. You can create found poetry yourself just by mashing together the headlines in a newspaper (or your preferred news website).

So why Chris Barnes? Well, the man certainly speaks his mind. Let’s combine a few tweets (the ones that aren’t retweets from PETA, Infowars, and various other questionable outlets) and see if it touches your soul:


I could see that taped on someone’s refrigerator, right next to Dilbert comic strip and last week’s shopping list.


With a little work, that could be a haiku.


All three tweets make a good point.

Just for funsies, let’s cobble together a few stand-alone tweets and see how they look.


That would bring a tear to a glass eye. I think those worked out pretty well. I think we should give it one more shot.  In true Chris Barnes fashion, let’s end on a real high note.


Shakespeare could not have said it better.

You can follow Chris Barnes at @sixfeetofficial and make your own found poetry.  Tune in next time when we’ll take All That Remains vocalist and “guy who probably has a closet just for fedoras” Phil Labonte‘s angry tweets and try to laugh through all the cringing.


Jeez, dude. Get a better hobby.

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