Dry Kill Logic – Riot At The Bat Rack: A Video Breakdown
Baseball season has started. In honor of the start of the season, we went digging in the crates for a baseball-themed metal music video. Much to our chagrin, all we could come up with was this dud from 3rd or below tier nu metal band Dry Kill Logic. They like baseball. Wrote a song about it and there’s not much more to it than that.
The song “Riot At The Bat Rack” is about as Jump Da Fuk Up as it gets and is further burdened by trying to co-opt baseball’s worst song “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” among other on-field baseball lingo. Sorry Cubs fans, it’s nice that you finally won a title after a 100+ years, but let’s face it, nobody’s really feelin’ that track these days. But hey, it’s nu metal, shame on you for expecting good lyrics, music or any other aspect of musical acumen associated with quality.
The only thing redeemable about this video is that it is part of a fun as hell vidya game that let’s you put DKL on mute. MLB SlugFest 2003 is an experiment in video game baseball where you can mash the buttons with poor timing and have a good time. Nobody’s trying to win, you’re just smacking the shit out of each other for nine innings. In retrospect, the game makes perfect sense now because it came out while a good percentage of Major Leaguers were probably shooting steroids up their butts. I played this game a bunch back in the day and it provided hours upon hours of entertainment because you could try and punch out the first baseman on a groundout while trying to avoid getting called out. Hitter’s bats would light on fire if you were able to go 2 for 2 or better and make your bat more potent. There was a meter for pitchers to throw a ridiculously unhittable curve if you accumulated a couple of strikeouts. And the Home Run Derby option was fun as well because you could pick your favorite Roider and try and smack as many over the fence as you could while competing against a few friends. But enough about baseball, you want to know about this “Riot At The Bat Rack” shit. Let’s go to the videotape.
:13 – Clearly going for Field Of Dreams here, but it came out like Children of The Korn
:20 – Slimmed Down Bill Goldberg rehearsing for this week’s taping of Smackdown
:23 – Take me out with a fist bump
:25 – One more time, TAKE ME OUT, take note of the hands behind the back pose
:31 – You might’ve been able to field that line drive if you didn’t have a fucking guitar in your hands
:33 – Two themes are becoming increasingly apparent – the first is that the only words to this song are “Take Me Out” and the second is that the Slimmed Down Bill Goldberg’s stage presence consists of yelling only with his hands behind his back
:43 – Slimmed Down Bill Goldberg was finally able to wrestle his hands from behind his back and yell, “Let The Bodies Hit The Floor!”
:48 – Gotta put one hand back
to tell ya’ll bout the Bat Rack
:51 – “This is the way I need it to be, MLB Slugfest twenty-o-three”, yes those are the words here
1:00 – Another line drive not caught because there’s a guitar where an outfielder’s glove should be
1:07 – For those who have not watched the video, the drummer looks pretty worn out for just hitting the hi-hat a little over a minute into the song
1:21 – Slimmed Down Bill Goldberg arguing balls and strikes with the umpire. A fired up lady cheers them on in the background
1:35 – This song is on Sean Spicer’s playlist to motivate the White House to get on the winning side of things. Because of the lack thereof, “Riot At The Bat Rack” is in regular rotation
1:43 – “One, Two, Three Strikes, Your Out!” – Again with the lyrics
1:55 – Watchya gunna do when Slimmed Down Bill Goldberg lays the Dry Kill Logic down on you?
2:17 – There’s no crying in nu metal unless your name is Jonathan Davis
(h/t 365 Days of Horror)
