Flush It Friday: Weekend Dad Saves Arbor Day

1802
141
Share:

It’s Arbor Day. You know what that means; time to drink exactly one glass of wine and hide in a bush on campus while wearing a gorilla costume in order to scare all those sorority ladies and fraternity lads who think planting a single shrub (that the maintenance staff is, honest to goodness, going to dig back up tomorrow and replant properly) as a good deed can wash away an entire semester of debauchery and shame.

Does Arbor Day strike anyone else as a bizarre, hand-wavingly corporate gesture of a holiday? It has the same distinct (and pungent) odor as Christmas in that it incentivizes good deeds (environmental consciousness!) as a one-time thing rather than encouraging a lifestyle of stewardship and care. Sure, there’s some merit to getting a bunch of Thetas and Omegas out of their lodges and drunken stupors into the beaming sunlight in order to use them as cheap labor for a pro-Green end, but how many of those students will drive away from the festivities in smog-spewing diesel trucks and fuel-inefficient sports cars? Quite a few, I reckon. I suppose my beef with Arbor Day isn’t with the day itself but with the pervasive culture around it that treats socially beneficial behavior as a series of annual checkmarks. Oh well. Hopefully, there is far less waste and more nurturing wherever you call home.

Anyway, I dig trees and will do my part by conserving water, sharing rides, walking, and driving a fuel-efficient vehicle. Here’s some green metal to commemorate the occasion.

Good: I had a phone interview on Monday and have another lead for a different career path that may be equally rewarding. Going to apply for that job this weekend. The job hunt was feeling pretty hopeless for a bit, so I’m glad things are turning around.

Bad: Moving across the country in a moving truck is going to suuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Ugly: I had to make a quick trip to Midland for research over the last couple of days. I’m used to eating mostly home-cooked meals at this point in my life, so all of the dining out I do on trips tends to unsettle my stomach quite a bit. In brief, Dubs was painfully gassy last night.

Now’s your chance to dish about your week. Did you get dirt on your Chubbies and polo planting something for Arbor Day? sound off in the comments below, and don’t forget to jam our weekly playlist, the Weekly Wipe!

Did you dig this? Take a second to support Toilet ov Hell on Patreon!
5 Shares