Indecipherable Grunt Of The Week

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UUUUOOUGGGUGHGHHHHHHGHGHHH

Before we get grunt’n, let’s take a look at the results from last week’s Bolt Thrower Edition, where we pit our fave riffs from Bolt Thrower albums with an average score of <85% according to the experts at Metal Archives.

This week we’re doing something a little different. You’re going to be voting on which of these indecipherable grunts provides you with the most profound paleolithic pleasure. Let’s OUGGGH!

Hans
Disillusion – ‘The Black Sea’ (Grunt @ 1:10)

To be fair, I’ve no idea if the screeching from 1:10 to 1:23 or so is a vocal performance at all. Even if it is, it’s not a grunt, so this might be moot anyway. But it sounds eerie and I really like this album, so have your Saturday enriched by the distorted sound of a slowly deflating balloon maybe.


GoatForest
Carcass – “Ruptured In Purulence” (Grunt @ 0:10)

This is pure vocal nastiness. Magifique!


Iron Goddess of Mercy
Cult Leader – “The Sorrower” (Grunt @ 2:00)

The barf noise Anthony Lucero makes at the 2:00 mark of “The Sorrower” is an apt summation of Cult Leader’s feelings about you and the rest of the world. Not to mention the riff that propels Lucero’s verbal vomit could easily win a more traditionally guitar-based Riff of the Week contest.


TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs
Carcass – ‘Ruptured In Purulence’ (Bleugh @ 0:41)

Carcass first two albums have lots of undecipherable vocal bits, but this one is probably the coolest. Anyway, by the time you read this I’ll be in Cancun completely wasted and surrounded by cool ocean breezes and beautiful women. You jelly.


Howard Dean
Tesla – “Signs” (Ugh @ 1:47)

This is a complete pile of shit. Cheesy hard rock band from the 80’s covers terrible hippie anthem. It doesn’t get much worse than this, ladies and germs, and frankly I’m kinda embarrassed I even thought of this. If this isn’t the worse thing ever submitted to RotW, it’s at least bottom 3. But it does “ugh!” and for that, it deserves its day. Help me take a big ol’ mudbutt shit on this garbage fire.


xtuffxghostx
Leng Tch’e – ‘Don’t Touch My Spandex’ (OUGH @ 0:00)

Sometimes we all just need to get dressed our best, grunt, and fuck shit up in the pit.


tigeraid
Barbarian – ‘Absolute Metal’ (Grunt @ 0:00)

UUUEUGH, ABSOLUTE ME-TAL!


ZMapp
Gotsu Totsu Kotsu – ‘Aku Soku Zan’ (Growl @ 0:07)

I was ready to send some stinky Portuguese SLAM, but my weebness brain got the better of me. Meet Gotsu, one of Japan’s finest Metal bands and Haruhisa Takahata, vocal/bass virtuoso and leader of the unit. If volcanos could growl and scream, Mount Fuji would sound like this man.


GrungierNine0
Gatecreeper – ‘Sterilized’ (*blegh* @ 1:26)

Gatecreeper is the shit. Those riffs are the shit. That *blegh* is the shit. ‘Nuff said, methinks.


vanNeun
Autopsy – ‘When Hammer Meets Bone’ (Heueurrgheeergh @ 0:00)

Nice long Heueergheeeehhreheeeehehehreeggheeghuerghheruee interjected with Buergheeregreghrere and Huergrusshargheurgherh.


God
Scar Symmetry – ‘Ghost Prototype II – Deus Ex Machina’ (Grunt @ 0:41)

My pick is the Beginning of the Scar Symmetry song Ghost Prototype II – Deus Ex Machina. I know that Scar Symmetry can be divisive between the “Not death metal enough” camp and “Too much death metal” camp, but I fell in love ever since I heard Christian Alvestam’s crooning on the beginning of this track. At 41 seconds in, He lets out this monstrous grunt that can only be described as a “euuururrururuUGH”. Its short but sweet and followed by some killer riffage. Since they have been nicknamed the Bon Jovi of Melodeath, you can imagine the rest of this track has lots of cleans. So if thats your thing, enjoy.

Next week I would like you to send me Scandinavian sounding riffs from bands based outside of Scandinavia.
Submission details below.


 

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