Inquisition – From Chaos They Came: A Video Breakdown


The Inquisition, what a show
The Inquisition, here we go
We know you’re wishing
That we’d go away

Remember when Colombia’s Inquisition were the big new band in metal for like 2 1/2 weeks? Like just about everything nowadays, they seemingly came out of nowhere, got a lot of hype, and then kind of just faded away. Maybe that’s just the fickle nature of metal. Maybe it was the band’s alleged Nazi sympathizing. Maybe it was their softest of denials about the whole thing. Who knows? They still receive praise from critics and go on tour, so it’s not like they’ve disappeared. It just feels like people got over them pretty quickly. Maybe their new music video taken from an album that came out in 2016 can give us some answers.

0:03: *cough cough cough*
0:07: The “butthole for a mouth” look has really taken off in black metal.
0:13: Whelp, I’m sure glad the focused in on…whatever that was for 2 seconds.
0:18: I was wondering when we were going to get a new Silent Hill movie.
0:24: Jenny McCarthy is going to use this video as evidence to not vaccinate children.
0:31: Oh, so that’s how Oreos are made.
0:37: Such a spoopy lil’ butthole face!
0:43: I really hope there’s just someone standing off-screen, flipping a light switch on and off.
0:52: Yahtzee!
0:59: Checkers: The thinking-man’s game.
1:06: You svnk my Bvttleship!
1:14: Oh, great. An Avon salesman.
1:20: “Look, one of us is going to have to go home and change.”
1:28: Someone’s ready to seize the means of production.
1:39: These Dollar Shave Club commercials are getting weird.
1:44: Can we just talk about his cape for a minute?
1:56: Capes should be relegated to comic books, plays, and maybe some sort of cosplay porn.
2:03: And maybe on the streets of New York City.
2:11: Other than that, they’re dorky as all hell.
2:19: Like way dorkier than wearing a dayglo fanny pack or a beanie with a propeller on the top.
2:26: You ever think he gets distracted and just starts swishing it around back and forth?
2:37: Maybe he runs around real fast, screaming “Look at me! I’m Batman! Weeeeeeee!”
2:45: I’m starting to think it’s the band’s pro-cape policy that’s holding them back.
2:55: Or maybe it’s because Satyricon already exists.
3:03: Gimme a ‘T’!
3:10: That’s not a knife. This is a knife!
3:14: That’s not a knife. It’s a spoon.
3:24: We’re getting into a new level of kink.
3:39: He must be quite the Dungeon Master on Friday nights.
3:51: It’s like the chestburster scene in Alien, but y’know, dumb.
4:07: David Lynch watched this video and said, “What the hell is going on?”
4:22: I wonder how many times he’s accidentally dipped his cape into the toilet.
4:31: Now I’m wondering how many times he’s done it on purpose.
4:38: They really change Goldar in the Power Rangers remake.
4:46: Free hugs!
4:50: Well, I can definitively say that that was a music video and a song.

Inquisition’s album Bloodshed Across The Empyrean Altar Beyond The Celestial Zenith is out now via Season Of Mist.

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