Ivanhoe – Overrun: A Video Breakdown
Ivan-holy shit.
Ivanhoe is a progressive metal band from Germany who have been around in some form or another for almost thirty years. All my knowledge of them comes from this This Toilet Tuesday, a quick Google search, and their new video. Sometimes words cannot do justice for what others are experiencing. You need, nay, must see things for yourself in order to truly understand what is happening. It is with this plea that I implore you to watch this video of lolbuttz proportions.
0:08: Dollar Store Rivers Cuomo.
0:13: Nah, no reason to get right into the actual song. Take your time.
0:18: Ivanlolz
0:21: Ivan-O-Face.
0:26: Now we know who buys those “Sexy Nun” costumes at Halloween. Other than porn directors.
0:28: No. No no no no no no no no no no no no no. NO!
0:31: SUNNO))) must be rolling over in their robes right now.
0:35: Dude, the Sunflower Dead video breakdown was last week.
0:42: His facial hair really draws attention away from every other thing that’s funny about this video.
0:46: Do they really have to be barefoot?
0:53: Hold this shot…hoooold ittt…..hooooooooolllllllddddddd iiiiiitttttt….
0:59: Science has no place in this video.
1:08: I would say that I’m lost on the concept of this video, but that would mean I care about it.
1:14: This shot is what happens when you let you the kid direct for a few seconds.
1:17: If he breaks out into the “Undone – The Sweater Song” I quit.
1:23: Oh fuck.
1:30: Sexy Nun trying to groove to Prog Metal with a green screen background. I just…I can’t…
1:36: I’m pretty sure hot-boxing in a confessional is a sin.
1:44: So the Sexy Nun gets to wear heels while the band is barefoot for some reason. It’s clearly a metaphor for society’s interpretation of..okay, I can’t fake it anymore.
1:55: Ivanhoe would’ve been better off pretending to be pandas.
1:59: Pandas can be metal.
2:00: They can also be Bloody too.
2:01: Like this guy.
2:06: Thank King Diamond that we included this shot of someone spraying something on something.
2:09: Just when you think it can’t get any more lolbuttzy…
2:12: “Wee-ooh I look just like Buddy Holly.”
2:19: He would look less ridiculous if he wore one of those rainbow wigs.
2:29: “Yes, Rivers Cuomo, I’ve wanted this for so…oh, it’s you.”
2:35: That’s the face of everyone watching this video.
2:39: “You know what this video needs? A sexy nurse! Yeah, don’t worry about it. I’ve got a suitcase full of these outfits. Um, don’t ask why.”
2:44: Can’t tell if racist or just really vague effects.
2:52: Jeez, there’re still 2 minutes left.
2:57: “Time to take your temperature. I’ll get the Vaseline.”
3:03: Cool, a Butcher Babies cameo.
3:11: So he’s dreaming of sweating in the corner of a basement. Suddenly my night terrors don’t seem so bad.
3:16: Still no shoes, huh guys?
3:26: Oh, now they’re dead. That… sucks? I’m not sure how to feel about it.
3:33: This is the best video of all time. I take it all back.
3:41: I knew there was a reason I never liked taking Chemistry in high school.
3:50: From now on, when a video is unbelievably, laughably terrible, it will now simply be known as “Ivanhoe”.
3:59: The morning after regret.
4:03: Jeeeeeeeeeezus!
4:09: Sure, why not?
4:11: Okay, definitely racist.
4:16: Do we really need over 30 seconds of credits? Shouldn’t everything be attributed to Alan Smithee?
4:30: I doubt this is what Sir Walter Scott had in mind when he wrote Ivanhoe.
Ivanhoe’s new album 7 Days is out now via Massacre Records.
