Motograter – Portrait Of Decay: A Video Breakdown


You would be forgiven for not knowing Motograter. The band appeared almost out of nowhere on the 2003 Ozzfest and fell back into obscurity soon after. When gimmicks were a hip thing in metal, Motograter managed to have two: the band was covered in “tribal” paint (I’m not sure which tribe, but then again, I don’t think they knew either) and they used a homemade instrument made of industrial cable and guitar parts dubbed a “motograter”. They were a nu-metal band fronted by Ivan Moody, who some of you may know as the hobo clown from The Devil’s Carnival. Oh, and he’s also in the Bud Lite Lime of bands, Five Finger Death Punch. After one studio album, the band went through more changes more times than your underwear rotation.

Sweet Nu-Metal Jesus decked out in Kikwears and a tank top, look at this list of band members:


There are more people that have been in Motograter than there are football players on the field during a play. AND THEY’VE ONLY PUT OUT ONE STUDIO ALBUM! Well, our long national crisis is over because Motograter have released a new music video. Let’s take a look.

0:03: Breaking news? Did someone find who ate the last cookie in the cookie jar?!
0:08: Ah, the unmistakable accent of Australiasiairescotmericanstan.
0:12: I really hope this guy didn’t think this was going to be his big break.
0:16: Dude, I love the American heavy metal band Mutta Grate Uh!
0:19: It must’ve taken them all of about 15 seconds to Photoshop their picture on the screen.
0:26: I still trust this news program over FOX News.
0:31: “Oh, and a flesh-eating virus is now airborne. More on that after this important music video.”
0:36: This one goes out to our moms and dads for giving us a ride to the venue tonight!
0:40: That transition from live to recording was seamless. SEAMLESS.
0:46: I hope you didn’t fill up on chugs before watching the video because this thing has plenty of them.
0:52: Don’t you just love when live videos don’t sync up with the song?
0:54: Weeeeee!
1:00: I’m getting a heavy “Psychosocial” by Slipknot-vibe from this song.
1:03: It’s nice to see pro wrestler Jeff Hardy still getting work.
1:11: One of the hazards of sharing the stage with Kottonmouth Kings.
1:20: A crowd shot is kind of pointless when you can’t, y’know, see the crowd.
1:25: And the rain will kill us all.
1:30: We throw ourselves against the wall.
1:33:But no one else can see.
1:36: The preservation of the martyr in me (Psychosocial, psychosocial)
1:39: Huuuuuugs!
1:46: Oldboy on the drums.
1:53: There are more flashing lights at a Motograter show than a New Orleans DUI checkpoint.
1:58: If you ever book Motograter, book them on the tiniest stage you can find.
2:06: No one, anywhere, ever has said “When I grow up, I want to be a professional motograter player.”
2:09: So not only does Motograter sound like Slipknot, but they also bang on kegs.
2:15: Stage show inspired by those Pokemon episodes that caused kids to have seizures.
2:20: They’re totally not getting the deposit back for those kegs now.
2:25: Hold the shot…hold it….hold it…
2:30: It’s not a pile on if you don’t actually pile on. This is more of a smush push.
2:35: That’s the look of a man who does not like to be touched.
2:41: I don’t care for these non-Brandon Lee Crow movies.
2:48: Now they’re not even trying to sync things up.
2:54: Fish-eye lens cures all.
3:04: How many horny jokes do you think that skull has to hear on a daily basis?
3:11: Someone didn’t get the “have long hair” memo.
3:16: Rob Zombie Jr.!
3:24: Thank you, Centralia! Goodnight!
3:27: 365 plz!
3:32: Hey, a solo. Good for them. Really, I mean that.
3:40: “Yeah, hun. Work was good. Hit some old kegs and trash cans. The usual.”
3:49: I wonder if he gives motograter lessons when the band isn’t on tour.
4:00: Mind the crowd gap.
4:09: Bllllaaarrrrgghhhh.
4:16: Hands up, baby hands up! Give me your heart, gimme gimme your heart gimme gimme….
4:24: Oh, don’t worry. We won’t forget that you’re Motograter.

This is usually where I mention the name of the new album, when it’s out, and who is putting that out. Well, I can’t find that information so the best I can do is link to their bandcamp page. That song can be yours for just $1. Your donation can help Motograter stay in crusty body paint for one more day.

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