Pillow Stains: Lay Your Weary Head To Rest
Don’t you cry no more.
The last time we had a Shirt Stains dedicated to just one piece of merchandise, it involved a Broken Hope shirt that may have scarred many readers for life. This time, it’s for something that may not be visually offensive, but it’s still just as disturbing.
Chthonic are a Taiwanese blackened symphonic death metal band with a strong focus on traditional Taiwanese music and culture. The use of instruments such as the erhu, the koto, and flutes give Chthonic a different sound that helps set them apart from other extreme metal bands. I was lucky enough to catch them on Paganfest about a year ago. They put on a great live show that compliments their albums very well.
Chthonic’s bassist is Doris Yeh. When Doris isn’t keeping the low end or telling China exactly how she feels about Taiwan being referred to as “Chinese Taipei”, she does modeling and, well, whatever this is. I think it’s safe to say that Doris is both badass and very attractive. It’s no surprise that the band would want to capitalize on this attention. What is as surprise is how they capitalize on the attention, at least with this one piece of merchandise.
What we have here is an official Doris from Chthonic girlfriend pillow. For those that don’t know this “love pillow” (shudder) is more commonly known in Japan as a dakimakura. It’s common for these pillows to have full body pictures of sexy anime girls or porn stars on them. Yes these are a real thing and yes people really buy them. It’s strange for the average person, but it’s better than banging a pineapple at the local playground.
Lucky (I guess) for fans of the band and dry humping inanimate squishy things, Chthonic has 2 versions of these Doris pillows. These aren’t one of those bootleg love pillows you see people selling for $10 outside of venues when a show lets out. These are official Chthonic pillows as they are being sold directly through their webshop. The only hitch is that they are only sold through the Taiwanese store. Better luck next time, rest of the world. I’m a little rusty on my languages, but let’s see what an online translator can tell us.
“Shining with the recent launch of excellent books: Taiwan fantasy novel “Postwar 578 days”, Doris book “on where to find this woman,” and so on, the red group invited Japanese illustrator NAIMEI IEMIAN love for you to read this great friend of children launched Doris life-sized models Shining pillow, so you can easily read no pressure Oh!”
You get all that? Good.
This pillow is definitely on the weirder end of the merchandise spectrum. It’s not poorly drawn or badly designed, just something you don’t typically come across. Next time you see a band sell an official flask or some custom shoes, point them to this. Who knows? Maybe this can start a trend among metal bands. I know a few people out there would want to cuddle with a full-body Kerry King pillow. It’s extra soft, stinks of Jagermeister, and is easy on the hands when you need to punch something. Someone get on this idea before Jill Janus does. It’s right in her attention-craving wheelhouse.
Would you buy a dakimakura of your favorite band or celebrity? Would you carry it around in public? Can you think of a stranger piece of band merchandise? Sound off in the comments section. Just make sure to clean up when you’re done.