Riff ov the Week: 2-6-16


Cool handsome guy playing guitar at outside

So, last week I lost to our boy Ted by one vote. That’s some shit right there. As begrudgingly as possible, I accept my defeat, just as I must do every week.

Before we get to the riffs, I should tell you that next week is another regular ol’ riff-off, and this will continue to be the case until I get some good theme ideas from you. This is because, as my mom repeatedly told me as a small child, I’m worthless soul with zero creativity.

Send your riffs for next week’s edition to toiletovhellriff@gmail.com. Include your name, a link to the riff, the time of the riff, and an explanation.

Let’s get to the riffs.



The U.S. black metal band’s most headbanginest riff starts around 2:50.



Fall to your knees and beg Thou for mercy with obsequious gesticulations and pithy stuttering supplication. Offer your prize goat–with its terrified bleating and shitting–for the stoking Thou’s pleasure. Make yourself small, humble and detestable. Grovel, pig. Grovel, be crushed, and be thankful that you are nothing. 0:55.



A bit of bass riff and guitar riff from one of the unspoken legends around here, and from one of the best live albums ever made. Riff starts at 2:00 and gets even better.


Jack Bauer

1:10. if you don’t headbang to this then I think you have incorrect.



My submission of this riff will be of no surprise to anyone who participated in last week’s Sunday Sesh. At 27:47 Numinous summon a riff which entwines around your meagre body like a virulent serpent borne of flame, searing your flesh while constricting further with each coil.



One of the reasons Mgla clicked with me the way it did was because of riff like 2:10 of With Hearts Towards None V, and 2:13 of Exercises In Futility I. The open string followed by the descending run makes me moist, and you should be too.


Cybernetic Organism

Like a geothermal feature which belches noxious steam and burbles with thinly-concealed magmatic hells just beneath its surface, Iceland continues to produce explosions of bleak, murky black metal. This riff from Almyrkvi is made up of magic (the darkest magic). Let your soul swim in it, scattered across time, trapped in the world of formlessness. Starts at 0:14, breaks for a void solo, kicks in again at 2:07.



The Toilet needs more Furia. Everyone needs more Furia! The riff starts at 0:00 and it’s a punchy motherfucker. It always leaves me feeling like I’ve just been subjected to a Polish mugging. The following riff is pretty good too and reminds me a lot of For Whom The Bell tolls (which is always a good thing). PS. If you do a quick YouTube search for “Zamawianie Drugie Cover” you’ll find a fantastic video by rmind showing you how to play this sucker.



From the beginning of Death of The Sun begins a pretty good riff. Nothing too complicated, or in this case, even especially moshing. But it’s (head)bangable and catchy in all the right ways.



My commute to and from work is on a mountain road in Yellowstone. Yesterday I saw a bison rear its horns and strike a hole in the car in front of me while this album was playing. Need I say more? This riff will gore your most prized possessions! It all comes together at 2:45, but listen to the whole damn thing will ya?






I’m on a big Decapitated kick right now, and the riff at 1:05 has been boosting my fighting spirit all week. That vocal pattern over the riff kills as well.


Boss the Ross

Hoboknife. A goofy name for some quality Blackened Thrash n Roll. Last year saw their debut release, Vagrants, and it is a riff filled 30 minute rager. It was hard to pick a single riff, there are so many of them, but I have to go with the first track. The Bleakest Reprimand starts with a pretty straightforward thrash riff, but at 0:45 they bring in some oldschool flavor for the next 30 seconds with an excellent drum buildup to push it over the top. Oh, and stick around for the falsetto scream at 2:22, it’s a nice addition to this killer track.


Ted Nü-Djent

Here’s some French Black Metal. I suppose you could call it ‘Cheese ‘n Shit Black Metal’. 3.50 until the end of the song. I highly recommend you check out thye rest ofthe album too when you get the chance. It’s güd.

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