Looking for riffs this fine Saturday morning? Look elsewhere, you chump. Wait don’t go. Join us for our first ever Toilet ov Hell Scream ov the Week. We’ve got some doozies.

Last week I didn’t win. It might be because you all hate me as much as I do. It also might be because Howard Dean dropped a mean Burzum classic on us, and I’m gonna pretend it’s the latter. I gotta be honest, I wasn’t expecting so many of you to vote for a riff by Vargy (he hates when I call him that probably). But the power of his riffs cannot be denied out of principle. I sure as shit voted for it.


If my memory serves me correctly, this makes Howard Dean the first two-time winner in ROTW history. But my memory sucks and shouldn’t be trusted.

As far as the rest of us go, we all pretty much got around the same number of votes. Except you, George Lynch. You fucking blew it. (SPOILER: he makes up for it this week)




  • Okay lads and lasses, next week we’re going genre-specific: THRASH RIFFS ONLY. Before you ask — yes, I will take variations of the genre, but let’s keep it thrashy if we can. Why thrash? Because our beloved founder’s name says so.
  • Submit your thrash riffs to toiletovhell@gmail.com.
  • Pick a specific part of the song or I will murder you, you horse’s asses.
  • If you have an idea for a theme (or a preference for another genre-specific segment), make it known!


Masterlord Steel Dragon

Meet Tyrannizer of Nocturnal. I’m pretty sure this was recorded as she was actually flung into a portal and down through all Nine Circles of Hell. As you can tell, it’s a long way down.


Paris Hilton

I’ve always have had a soft spot for Judas Priest despite the fact that by today’s standards they sound like an ironic Tenacious D joke. Let’s be real. Judas Priest is completely fucking ridiculous. I love them, this song, and this scream for that reason. It comes from a time when metalheads didn’t take themselves too seriously, could uncross their arms, and have some fucking fun listening to the music!


Nordling Rites ov Karhu

Many are willing to argue that post-reunion Brutal Truth vokills suck at least when compared to earlier efforts, 1:35 of “Sugardaddy” disagrees with you. So do I.


Brock Samson

I absolutely love Rainer Landfermann’s vocal style, but I understand why a lot of people hate it.  He used to be the vocalist for Bethlehem and he teamed up with Anaal Nathrakh to produce what may be his best shriek/puberty howl. Scream starts at 2:55. I know this is not for everyone since you need to be that special sort of fucked up in the head to like it.


Jack Bauer

The second I saw the category I knew I would be choosing this. The scream/growl starts at 3:15 and goes all the way to 4:02!



On arguably Cattle Decapitation’s greatest album, Travis Ryan performs an unbelievable vocal performance on “Lifestalker.” Ryan works through shouts, vaguely black metal evil talk, deep growls, and “clean” singing over the course of a single song. This song could contend for a regular Riff of the Week; check out Ryan’s vocal performance instead for your pick for Scream of the Week. Check out the whole damn thing.


Satan Ov Hell

15 seconds in is one of the best screeches in metal. One could call it pure Gold. Ehh, EHHH?! [MSD – Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!] I’ll show myself out.



Best scream in my book will always go to Tool’s Maynard with this 28 second scream from “The Grudge.” He lets loose while the rest of the band goes into overdrive behind him, riding his shredded larynx into eternity.



@4:50 bassist Dave Ewardson’s guttural roar begins what soon becomes a three pronged assault, with guitarist Scott Kelly and Steve Von Till’s tormented screams joining in on this classic Neurosis climax.


Tom Warrior’s Beanie

The intro scream of “The Marshall (sic) Arts” by Razor!


Call the Slambulance

I swear to God I’ll fight the fuck out of you.


George Lynch

If you are not familiar with this song, then prepare for glory! If you tune into 3:24 or here you will notice there are not one, not two, but thirty three of the worlds great yelps! Enjoy!


Kim Jong Un’s Penis Tornado

It’s got tons of different riffs, and tons of screaming power metal vocals for ya. Enjoy!



Martin van Drunen has some of my favorite growls of all time. Whether in Asphyx, Hail of Bullets, or Grand Supreme Blood Court, he kills it every time.


Johnny Crunch

When I was a youngster the change of a vocalist was pretty much the death knell for most bands, so when Barnes was replaced in Cannibal Corpse after such a breakthrough album in The Bleeding I was a little concerned. The opening scream from the opening track off of Vile was enough to convince me that Cannibal Corpse were in safe hands.


Janitor Jim

This scream is one of the best screams I’ve heard in a long time. People may think Rob Halford is incapable of doing good screams at this point but this scream that begins at 1:05 is just epic.


Jimmy McNulty

Alissa White-Gluz is one phenomenal singer with jaw-dropping versatility (“The Escape”, just start at the beginning). I understand that she’s making more money with Arch Enemy but nothing they compose can touch anything off The Agonist’s album Prisoners. I may not win this week; but just maybe Alissa will catch my star white-knighting skills!

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