“When you are discontent, you always want more, more, more. Your desire can never be satisfied. But when you practice contentment, you can say to yourself, ‘Oh yes – I already have everything that I really need.'” — Dalai Lama

I don’t know who this nerd is, but he clearly doesn’t understand us or our CONSTANT NEED FOR MORE RIFFS. I do. And that’s why I am a better person than the Dalai Lama.

You are the nested hatchling that patiently awaits. I am the mother bird come to vomit delicious riffs directly into your beaks agog. Open wide!


At around 2:13Necrodeath turn down their rapid-fire Kreator-worship knob and lay down one of the filthiest headbangers in all of 1987 black/thrash. It’s sort of like being pulled by your eyelids through a cavern, the walls and floor afroth with the thick, congealed blood of everyone you’ve ever loved or even moderately enjoyed the company of. Also your pets. Turn this jetblack slop all the way up and a) reminisce about the old days or b) wish you weren’t born so late.



Lady SteelDragon:

“The riff that starts at about 0:17 seconds almost makes me have a crush on Steven Wilson. Don’t tell my husband.”



Joe Thrashnkill:

“The opening riff of this dying fetus tune is both aurally pleasing and hilarious at the same time.”




“I’m tired of seeing my true brethren Masterlord and Randall smeared by all these sissy non-warriors, so here’s some power metal. The main riff in this song makes me want to trample posers beneath the hooves of my noble steed.”



Christian Molenaar:

“Most people probably think of Baroness or Kylesa or some crap when they hear the phrase “Southern metal.” Reverend Preston may be from Illinois but his combination of old-skool blakk metal and Southern rock shreds all pretenders. Riff starts at 0:40ish.”




My riff o’ the week comes part of the way through “Panic Becomes Despair,” a monstrous track from the monstrous Thantifaxath album that came out this past April. The song kicks off in a blind rage, dispensing with the pleasantries and showing you what the inside of a demon’s eyelids look like. The song eventually lands on a lurching 9/4 riff that gets the whole treatment: first supported by a blast beat, then stomped along with on the crash cymbal, then slowed to a grinding, hulking sledgehammer’s pace, not unlike a tree that falls on you very, very slowly. Also the tree is made out of a black hole. Listen to the riff below at 28:34, and also the whole album!



Occam’s Razor Ramon:

“Maybe it’s because we got a new Obituary song this week, or maybe it’s because I’m surrounded by rednecks every single day, but I’ve been jamming “Redneck Stomp” all week. The main riff is really just the perfect tune for crushing the necks of inbred Wrong Turn-esque hillbillies long into the evening.”




Inveracity is a band I got into years back and this album (Extermination of Millions) is what I’ve been stuck with since 2007 because they won’t release anything else. Fun fact: Vagelis Voyiantzis of Dead Congregation is on drums here. This song, “Visions of Coming Apocalypse”, just brings the riffage hard. The opening riff is just as catchy and brutal as a death metal riff can get. I think you will all agree. Just press play and BANG!”



Howard Dean:

“Placed near the finish line of an otherwise innocuous song, the riff that starts at 7:29 is an absolute monster. With this riff, Cough smothers the listener in hopelessness and unfettered terror. Few riffs can match the sonic dread of this riff. I fully expect to see this riff in the soundtrack of an independent horror film someday.”



Randall Thor:

“This song is basically what would happen if you threw PossessedMorbid Angel, a Minotaur, and a ton of bricks into a blender.”




“First track. You can’t tell me this riff is not complete boner.”



Jack Bauer:

“Just the entire beginning. Shit pumps me up like crazy and never fails to make me start speeding if I’m driving.”



Pagliacci is Kvlt:

“Short, simple and incredibly infectious, this proto-metal/doom riffage comes from way back in 1973. It hits you right off the bat at 0:05 and there is just no way you can listen to it and not have it get stuck in your head.”



Call the Slambulance:

“I was watching CKY2K one day, and a song suddenly came on in the background as I watched grown men hurt themselves with fireworks inside of a van. Though the montage that ensued for the duration of this song was hilarious, it couldn’t distract me from the intensity of evil that is this song. The riff remains the same for the vast majority of this tune, and I am absolutely fine with that. Stick around for the skank beats. It makes me think of skateboarding through the city in the middle of the night and scowling at people. You may not appreciate these fellas’ views on homosexuality and race relations, but the fuckers know how to make me headbang.”




DRI was a great example of how to be heavy without being fast or extreme. They were just plain good at short heavy songs. This gem is from the Definition album.”



Detective McNulty:

“Why don’t more people talk about Vhol?  Aesop Dekker on drums — nope, this is about the riff. Mike Scheidt on vox — gotta stop myself. Sigrid Sheie on bass — it ends here! I’m here to discuss the almighty riff, and this entire album has them in spades. It may be the best album of 2013 in fact.”


Wow, THREE bands starting with “necro,” this week. Weird, dude. If you want your riff featured next week, you’d better get that riff to me!

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